What’s the Story about Autistic People and Empathy [2019]


[Music and Intro] Hey you! Yes you! Are you listening to me?
Did you hear any of the words I was saying to you? Weren’t you listening to me? Why aren’t you
answering back to me? H all! This is going to be a quick video for you guys based
on the real story about autistic people and empathy. As you know basically at
this point of time ,that there has been so many misconceptions and misgivings about Autistic people that they don’t have empathy or are lacking of empathy.
Because, as we know that this is far from the truth and it’s quite the opposite
really when it comes to play about us being autistic lacking of empathy and
what have you though, however that you know every
autistic you will meet will be different on the spectrum.- Be it varying from the
high to the low functioning of autism in the way of how they think, act,
speak towards you. So ,hopefully this video will set the record straight for
you all today. First of all, you may want to know what is sympathy even though I have shared a few autistic autism and empathy series or empathy series and I will link it above me in the iCard if you want to watch that and come back to
this video or more that’s fine or I’ll leave it in the description below.So, the very first quick question is as you might want to ask me is what is empathy? To put
it quite simply- empathy is the ability to understand what the other person is
thinking or feeling but the truth is that empathy is anything but simple for
some of us at us autistics alike. Autistic people can definitely struggle with certain aspects of empathy, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel it at all.Sadly, despite many years of campaigning by autism advocates like
myself and many others worldwide, there’s still a widespread belief that people on
the spectrum have no ability to make emotional connections at all or even
form meaningful relationships, friendships or whatever form of
relationship that they want to build on and this couldn’t be further from the truth, however. Autistic people are often the most
kind-hearted, compassionate, loyal individuals that you’ll ever come across
or meet. Deeply committed to their family and friends with an intense spiritual
connection to the world around them, they are really nothing like the
stereotypical, emotionless loners they are sometimes portrayed by
the mainstream media that gives out the wrong perception of what all autistics are
like. However, with the stereotypes alike, many stereotypes or all shall we
say, this one has its roots in reality, and has come about as a
result of the complex nature of autism and an equally complex nature of empathy
This video hopefully will share with you. all basically three aspects of empathy
that I want to introduce to you all today and they are as follows: Affective Empathy- This is an unconscious, automatic response allowing you to feel what other people (and other living beings) are
feeling and is absolutely not something autistic people lack of it. For example, people, it is very common to find
people on the spectrum, however who feel intensely connected to all animals,
of birds, insects and more of the bonds that they will
form and create with the creatures that lives freely from the endless restrictions
of human social rules and social norms that can be quite extraordinary. In this
case of affective empathy, rather than having too little, autistic people
can often have way too much – a condition known as “hyper-empathy.” Hyper- empathetic people however do find that even the thought of anyone or anything
suffering causes them intense emotional, psychological,then be highly sensitive to any of the changes in their environment or
atmosphere, picking up on the slightest tension between people and becoming more and more upset as they anticipate things as it escalates. Since, processing these powerful feelings can be
really hard for them,they’ll often withdraw in themselves or often go into
a meltdown stage or even a shutdown stage which is something that fits
perfectly well into them. Yet, is a complete mystery to those
around them. Another way it shows off its extreme personification of objects
forming deep meaningful emotional bonds with everyday items like pencils or
rubber bands -. There are many examples of personification and the language we use
on a daily, (time waits for no one/ the camera loves her,etc etc). And, also in
our culture with the films such as Beauty and the Beast being very much enhanced
by singing, dancing emoting kitchenware, but what I’m describing here is
something much more overwhelming for us, autistics. Autistic people can be
extremely upset I fell if they feel, for example, that a specific crayon or hairbrush isn’t being used as often as the others because it might be feeling
left out. I can imagine how that sounds to anyone who’s unfamiliar with autism,
however, but believe you me, too many autistic people just really does make
perfect sense and I’m hoping for the ones that are watching that are either autistic can actually vouch for this for some of these different types that
I’m sharing with you all today. Cognitive empathy- This is the largely conscious ability to work
out what other people are thinking or feeling and because human beings are so
endlessly complex and difficult. If you’re not naturally wired to understand the
process, it can be really, really difficult to learn. Cognitive empathy is an intricate
thought process allowing you to grasp what people really mean when they’re saying
something really vague, or which emotions they’re feeling when they behave in a way
you find super confusing. It’s something most neurotypical people will pick up
very quickly, however, and most autistic people have to work really hard at this.
Anyone who lives with autism (whether that they’re autistic themselves or are in close contact with an autistic person) will recognize how difficult it can be for people on
the spectrum to guess another person’s behaviors and intentions
without any precise instructions. In other words, it really helps to say
exactly what you mean when you talk to the autistic person, because they just don’t get the concept
that is implied here. A perfect example of this happening here recently
basically, I was reading an article
was that someone mentioned about their youngest son and their youngest son’s girlfriend told him I have just left work, meet
me at the end of the road. Now, it was clearly implied that she’s just step out
of the office, she wanted to meet him at the end of the road she works on, but
since the son Aiden doesn’t do ‘implied’, there she stood, more than 20 minutes
later ,still waiting for him to arrive. Aiden of the son, meanwhile was waiting
at the end of the road where she live, and which seemed to him to be the most logical road to meet on, since they meet several times before on that road.
Not being specifying a particular road when talking
to an autistic person is what we call here a, real ‘rookie mistake!’ There are a couple of terms relating
to this that you’ve probably come across if you’re part of the autism community: the
ability to consciously recognize what other people are thinking and feeling is
known to the theory of the mind – which I clearly mentioned basically some of
these series and I’ll link it in the playlist as well as in the icard above me. *Pointing above me with her finger*
While being unable to do this, it’s known as Mind- blindness. Mind-blindness is one of the most common traits a health professional will look
for during an autistic or autism diagnosis and it effects very much work
in both ways. Autistic people will often assume
everyone has the same views and understanding of the world as they do, as well as the same passions and interests. I’m sure many of you are familiar with seemingly
endless discussions about special interests which are a direct result of
this trait which again *playing with her hair* I link this one about the autistics obsessions and interests video in the iCard above me as well as in description below.
They’ll also believe that they are aware of something other people must be too,
and this can lead to all kinds of problems however. Another person
mentioned about their son too and they quoted “When my son Dominic was young,
he almost died of acute double pneumonia because he didn’t tell us he was in
agonizing pain whenever he coughed.” Deveasted, the mum asked him why he hadn’t mentioned it to her and his response simply was I thought
you knew.
Compassionate empathy- this is both the understanding of another being’s situation, and the
motivation to help them if they’re in some sort of trouble. Once again, autistic people have no shortage of this kind of empathy, however. Even
though, they can sometimes struggle when it comes to offering the right kind of help
to others.Many people the spectrum are usually motivated when standing up
against what they consider to be injustice, cruel, mean and the like and
you’ll find some of the most passionate voices of the struggle for equality,
animal rights, and a cleaner environment are mostly the autistics. Autistic people see far less boundaries then neurotypical people do which is a
really positive trait when it’s applied to finding some new solutions to
seemingly unsolved problems. Conversely, however, there are many
challenges for autistic people to master when it comes to giving and
receiving support as they tend to struggle a lot with social boundaries
which I shared this also about that personal boundaries and space and I
linked that also in the description below as well as in the icard above me. Autistic people often don’t like to hug, or to be be hugged tightly which is the natural way
for neurotypical people to show empathy towards each other and the definitely adds
to the misconception to what they’re feeling and a lack of capacity to love
which therefore I’m quite the opposite as you know or as some of you may know
that I like to be hugged but there is a certain boundary line that comes down to
hugging me as well because this we know different you know when you’re having
people in a different form of context, it could mean different things of the signs
of body language and the world of psychology. Putting your arm over someone’s shoulder or on you or your hand on their arm when they are sad, are both automatic gestures for a neurotypical person to make right? But, this can be incredibly
confusing for autistic people who have difficulty picking up social cues about how much
physical contact is appropriate in a particular situation.
When you’re autistic, joyous occasions such as birthday parties and weddings; can be
just as difficult to navigate through that is more emotionally draining events funerals. Understanding why it is important to say the right thing at the right time can be very confusing
leading to all sorts of mix ups and miscommunication but autistic
people really do care, and are generally trying thei r best and hardest to be
supportive even when they get things wrong themselves that are Socially appropriate. So, those are the basic of empathy, however, and some of the struggles autistic people can have with them. I’ll leave you with a
real-life example of one man’s version of compassionate empathy
here which I’m sure many wives of autistic husband’s will recognize. For several years, I’ve been doged by some very serious- dogged by some very
serious injuries and illness and had put on quite a bit of weight lately as a
result. We were so going out for the day, so I squeezed myself into a pair of jeans that I hadn’t worn for a long time. They just about fitted to be honest. But, I wasn’t
too sure about wearing them in public. I told my husband, I felt a bit uncomfortable about how my legs look and rather than the standard, “You look beautiful to
me, darling” reply I’d expected, he spent way too long staring at my thighs and came out with an ever-so-helpful statement, ‘Yes, they are pretty big. I know. Just wear a long coat.’ As you know basically- like many autistics also you know say it how it is or just straight up as well and then
obviously her response to this was, ‘Yes, thank you for that , darling;
problem solved and she sighs. So, this ends quickly a short video hopefully about
Autism and empathy what’s the story? Smash the like if you enjoyed it.
Comment below if there’s any autistics out there want to share your story you know about people you know telling you that your lack of empathy or
there of or what’s your main buzzkill about you know what you hear about it on
the daily about us not being empathetic enough and whatnot. So , that we can open
up a communication for my discussion board. So, in all further a do guys, thanks
for your support, thanks for watching. Do what you love love what you do And., also don’t forget also,
follow me on my social medias as well as also if you would like to donate big or small it covers the cost of what I’m hoping to do for my
recording equipment, traveling and hopefully once the better recording
equipment comes, I can do some more behind footages for you guys over there behind
the scenes that I had planned for for my channel for you guys which will have to
be wait upon hopefully so hopefully you can sit tight for that and then also in
saying that stuff the money can help others what I’m doing right now of advocacy work
because also creating my website that I’m hoping to do sometime
very soon because obviously I’ve got a website URL but it’s just a matter of
building that up and in saying this I’m hoping that you’ll enjoy it all this
as well.So, in all further a do guys ,thanks for your support and thanks for watching and
I’ll see you all again soon. Ciao for now.

ENDING- Message from me to you all. ENDCARD

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