Using Your Mental illness for Attention

Hey, everybody! Happy Thursday. Now, today I had planned on doing a Coffee and a Chat. Remember last week I was like, “I have a great topic.” And I still do, but I’m holding onto it and I’m putting a pin in it for now. I will talk about it next week, but today I want to talk about an article that was written about a year ago, and I did a little research and there have been a lot of articles coming out like this in recent months and I don’t like it and so I want to talk about it. And this article, the one I’m gonna reference, is entitled “10 Signs Your Mental Illness Is Made Up For Attention.” I already hate it. Hated it. But, I want to go through each of these and kind of negate the points that the person who wrote this, which I believe is a woman, yeah, that she made. Just so those of you out there who are worried that people are gonna think that you’re doing it for attention, this can maybe help you set your head straight, so that you know… uh The message I want to get across is that when you reach out for help, when you actually speak up, when you shout about it, when you talk about it online, when you do all those things, It’s actually your way of saying, “Hey, I need help.” “I need support.” It’s a way of reaching out and I want to support that and I want to encourage that and the more that we talk about it, the less stigma there is associated with mental health, and getting help for it. So, without further ado, let’s go through all these ten bullshit things and talk about it! So, the first one is, “Your definitions of illness change all the time. One day depression means you can’t get out of bed, blah blah blah, and the next is you want to watch Netflix.” It goes on and on to talk about all these different things and how it can change. Well, no shit, Sherlock. Mental illness changes all the time. You’ve heard me talk about all these different diagnoses through the DSM and all the different things we have to meet, there’s like criteria, right? Well, the criteria that needs to be met, often times you only need to meet like three out of the seven, so it can change. I’ve talked about how depression could be “I ate too much”, “I don’t eat enough”, “I sleep too much”, or “I don’t get any sleep.” It varies person-to-person, and yeah, it can change day-to-day. That’s how it is. Number Two: “You’re constantly sharing shit about it on social media.” They talk about how someone’s like “I have anxiety” and they want to share about it. The thing that I am jealous of all of you youths out there, ’cause I’m thirty-two. For any of you in your teens, I’m super jealous of the fact that you grew up with the internet. I did not. It wasn’t something that really happened in my life until like high school, I want to say. And so, all of those times when you’re going through things and you think like, “Man, I’m really weird. Why do I feel that way? What’s happening?” There was no way to access. I actually used to look shit up in an Encyclopedia. That takes forever and you don’t get the answer that you want ’cause it’s all like scholarly and it doesn’t make any sense at that age. But, the great thing about talking about “shit online”, if that’s what she’s calling it, is the fact that we can talk about mental illness, mental health, what it can feel like, what it can look like, all those things, is that it gives us a forum and a medium to express it and to get some support and to know that we’re not alone with it. If I, as a teen, as like a middle schooler, that was like the worst time ever it felt like. I, as a middle schooler, could’ve had that, could’ve had the like, “Yeah that’s normal”, you know? “Everybody gets boobs at a different age, Kati. Just ’cause you don’t have any, it isn’t a bad thing.” Like if I’d get some of that support back then and understanding and knowing that I’m not alone, that would’ve gone a long way and I think everyone would agree with that, so talk about your shit online! Mental health related or not, It’s a great forum to get support and to recognize that we’re all in it together and we’re not weird or odd because of it. I think that’s really important. Now the third, is that you list your mental illness in your bio. A lot of people will say, you know, their name and then below be like “Senior in High School. Struggle with depression”, or “Eating disorder”, whatever. And they’re saying that that’s bullshit and that means that you’re doing it for attention. Now, yes, I guess that’s a way to give your mental illness attention and I would caution people against putting it in your bio because I don’t, I never want my clients to utilize a diagnosis as part of who they are, as like what makes them up. It’s something that they’re struggling with and working on and yeah, It is technically a part of who we are and what we’re going through, but it’s not all of you and there’s so many more interesting things to put in your bio, but if you created this online account as a way to get more mental health support, gain insight and education into what mental illness looks like and feels like, sure! Put it in your bio! If you’re joining a group and that group is all about mental illness or depression or anxiety or whatever, if it’s like a specific group, it should be in your bio anyways. So, it all really depends on the reason that you’re online and what you’re doing online and if that’s a way for you to shout out for help, I think that it’s perfectly fine. Now, number four, and this one really bothers me. All of these bother me. I’m not gonna rate them. They’re all terrible. Number four says “You use it to be an asshole to other people.” and then they go on to talk about how if you don’t call someone back, you blame it on your anxiety, or you’re saying you’re gonna show up to a party and you flake and they say that by blanketing it, you’re being an asshole to other people. If you’ve never had a mental illness, you don’t get the right to throw out words like this because those with social anxiety, let’s say, will plan on going to the party, will want to see everyone. Maybe a little nervous about seeing people they don’t know very well. Maybe they’re all dressed up, makeup on, ready to go, headed to the car, to the party, and they have a panic attack. What do you expect them to do? Just keep going? That’s not a possibility. And so, I want you to understand that just because someone flakes, doesn’t call you back, maybe says they’re going to show up someday, shows up like a half an hour late, that doesn’t mean that they’re an asshole. That means they have mental illness and it can be completely unpredictable. They’re doing the best they can, show a little empathy, be a better human. I’m just saying, okay? Now the fifth, this one- they all bother me. Says that “when it’s convenient, your illness takes a back seat.” and they talk about how you can like put on a smiley face and have a good time and be “fine.” That’s bullshit. That’s, again, not understanding what it’s like to actually have a mental illness. Just because we have a mental illness doesn’t mean that we can’t pretend to be okay for a minute because we don’t want to let that person know what’s going on because we maybe don’t know them that well. That’s all reasonable, right? I’m not gonna tell everybody about all of my business. Only the people that are closest to me and if I’m really struggling with depression or anxiety or an eating disorder, I don’t want to talk about it with someone that I know casually. I’ll pretend everything is fine. And when they ask me, I’ll say, “Yeah, everything is great! Everything’s been going really well.” and I’ll just bullshit my way through it because that’s my right as a human. I shouldn’t have to share with everybody. Number six. “You think that it’s controversial to talk about.” They say how “easy” it is to talk about mental illness and “the people who talk about it having a stigma are kind of just bullshitting themselves because Hello, It’s”- this was written in 2015, so she’s like “Hello, It’s 2015.” I don’t, again, don’t think they’ve had a mental illness or mental health issues, so they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. They don’t understand the judgmental looks people get or the fact that many of you have told me that you reached out to your parents and your parents say, “Ugh, get over it. It’s just a teenager thing. You’ll totally grow out of that.” or any other number of misunderstandings, misinformation out there and judgments that come along with it. The stigma against mental illness is real and it’s still there and yes, it’s getting better, and I’m so grateful for that, but It’s not gone yet. We still have work to do. Now, the next: Number seven is that “Even though your relationships have clear patterns, you don’t accept that it might be your fault.” And they go on to talk about how you blame it on the other person and that those with mental illness say, “I’ll find someone who finally gets me someday” and It’s never them taking responsibility for that relationship. Again, they don’t understand. Working on recovery is really hard. It doesn’t matter what it is. I think we’re all recovering from being a lesser version of ourselves, right? And so, if we’re on that path, it takes a lot of work to gain insight into our patterns, to actually recognize them. I remember when I first recognized one of my dating patterns from back in the day, and I was like, “Oh, my sweet Jesus. This would’ve been so helpful to know like five years ago.” But, of course, it takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of, you know, working on the inside and spending time with yourself. Lots of journaling, lots of just intense internal work for you to recognize what patterns are happening in your life. For someone to say that if you don’t then that just means you’re making up your illness for attention? No, you need to be working your ass off and you’re just not quite there yet. You just haven’t recognized that those are the patterns and that’s not a bad thing. That doesn’t make you a terrible human, that just means you’re a work in progress like all of us. Number eight, “You constantly post baiting things so that people will ask you what’s wrong.” And she gives some quotes about things people posted. Of course! ‘Cause we’re looking for help. When has that been a bad thing? Why is it a bad thing to reach out for support. Yes, it could be more direct, but sometimes we’re too scared to put that out there. Often I find that a lot of you will tell me that you’re afraid to say, “Hey, I just really need help”, or “I just need some support”, but a lot of you will do that now and I’m glad that I can be a resource for that kind of support, but just because you can’t come out right and say, “Hey, I need some extra love today, guys” ’cause it feels a little too attention seeking maybe? That the stigma that’s still attached to mental illness stops us from saying it so instead we just share a little bit hoping someone will reach out? We’re still reaching out for help. And I think that that’s wonderful. Okay, Number nine. This may be my least favorite. Is that “you’re not really trying to get better.” How do you know, jerk who wrote this article? How the fuck do you know? It says, “maybe you’re taking medication” Uh, do you know how hard it is to get in to see a doctor, to actually tell them what’s going on, to get ,on a medication that works? That’s actually a lot of work! I would say that we’re already really trying to get better. Then they go on to say, “Maybe you’re in therapy, but you’re not doing anything behaviorally.” How do you know? Do you know how hard it is to change your behaviors and to change your patterns and the instincts that you have to do something? Do you know how hard it is to stop that? How much practice it is? Anyone in CBT or DBT therapy will tell you it is really, really hard. And if you make one change, one day, I applaud you. Because that is really hard work. First, we have to recognize what we’re doing and what we don’t want to do anymore. Secondly, in the moment we have to think of the other thing that we’re supposed to do that our therapist told us to do. And Thirdly, we’re supposed to do it. And that’s really hard. So, just because it doesn’t look on the outside like we’re trying, we could really be trying. So, that’s just bullshit. And then the last one which I’m not gonna get into too much ’cause it doesn’t even really relate to mental illness. They try to talk about how people who say their pansexual, demisexual, or any other kind of other part of the LGBTQIA+ community is that they’re just ruining the LGBT movement because there’s only gay, bi, straight, or asexual, you don’t need to make up your own label. Again, they’re not there. They don’t know. I don’t think that they should even be talking about it in this forum because if they don’t understand what the conversation is being had within that community then they shouldn’t put in their two cents. What the hell are they even talking about? How do you know that that doesn’t exist? Do you feel that way? Do you even know what that means? Probably not so, Silence! Anyway, I just really wanted to talk about this article and the fact that there are lots of others that have come out. I’m not gonna link them ’cause they’re just gonna make you upset, but know that mental illness is not something that we do for attention. Talking about it, verbalizing it, reaching out for help, speaking about it online are all great things. I know it’s hard. I know that it’s scary to talk about it, but if there’s a way that you can, keep doing it. Don’t let articles like this, don’t let people talking about it like this, you know, hold you back or put you down because they don’t know what it’s like. If they haven’t been there, they don’t know what it’s like. And if they can’t have empathy and understanding for other humans in a different experience, they’re not good people. They’re toxic. And they’re not good to be around and I wouldn’t listen to a word they say. So those are my thoughts. Made me really frustrated, this article, but thanks for sending it to me because I think it’s important as a community for us to keep talking about it and to keep supporting one another as we talk about mental health. I love you all and I have a livestream today! Didladee! At noon. This is coming out at 10:00 am. The livestream will be at noon Pacific Standard Time. Hop on YouNow. I’ll put my link [pew!] here or in the description depending on how excited I get about it, um and how clever I am at putting stuff across the screen, but I will be there at noon for an hour answering your questions and I would love to see you, okay? Talk to you soon! Bye!

100 thoughts on “Using Your Mental illness for Attention

  1. I have schizophrenia. I had very early symptoms and my dad ignored it and didnt allow me to get help when I needed it. It was brushed off as normal teenager behavior. He finally listened a little bit when I failed my first semester of college because I was having such a hard time. I didnt want to leave my room because I wasnt acting normal. I could hear things and VERY RARELY see things other people could not and sometimes i would react. Or I would be so depressed I couldnt get out of bed. Or anxious that I didnt wanna be in a room full of people I dont know. I was going to therapy finally in college because it was provided for free since I lived on campus. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and my sister found out and mentioned it to my dad. He finally thought it was a possibility but i had already left college and moved out to live with my mother in a different state. Now my mother is a great support system, but shes doubting I have schizophrenia because I dont experience full blown psychosis or certain symptoms everyday. Mental health is not something that is easy to understand, even with the most understanding people. Its so hard to talk about. I dont have therapy. Medication is cheaper than therapy so I tried that route and finding the right one was hard, especially since Im younger so they have to try the low end of things first. Its so frustrating.

  2. Sometimes talking about your mental illness can mark you as an easy target for people that may want to use, hurt, or manipulate you.

  3. "You're not trying to get better." As if we know what it is that we need to do. Mental illness can come with memory issues, confusion, etc. Sometimes we're too out of it to even do anything about it! I know I have days where I cannot even think. Tell me, person, who wrote the article, how do you suggest someone tried to get better on a day where they cannot even form coherent thoughts?

  4. I don't think it's right to fake depression or anxiety for attention. I myself have depression and anxiety and it's literally a living hell, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

  5. I go through chronic pains everyday because of my anxiety I can't help but to be depressed, every time I feel good or on top of the world, all it takes is a thought and I'm back to square one. No one should fake mental illness because it's a serious issue and not a joke

  6. I had a terrible therapist named Emily (like I hated her) she would ask me what time it was every five seconds, if you're reading this, yes it's me and I really hate you and you're the reason I'm scared of doing therapy now..

  7. I don't know about other schools, but my school constantly makes suicide, depression, anxiety, and ptsd jokes, it's really gross. And I get especially frustrated when they joke about it and then say how much they liked euphoria and 13rw like it just feels so gross

  8. My favorite is ‘ everyone gets x sometimes’ for me it was while I had a panic attack for me that is the same as you saying ‘everyone has x physical thing sometimes’

  9. HELP ANYONE; PZ   …How can you tell if someone is making it up! I know that is an illness it itself; but they won't get help or refuse to get help because they want to continue the downfall; However it makes everyone else sick because they're continually worried about you while your laughing and joking with everyone else and then posting really sad stuff on facebook like your life is a mess but you won't do anything about it but be on fb complaining about; looking for sympathy; for example; this person broke up with girl; she's having is baby but refuse to have him around now. He starts posting 5-10 posts a day about being the father, the best father, what girl would not want a father, she's keeping my baby from me etc… the baby is born; she allows him to see the baby after a month or so; now he can see the baby; makes no real effort to see the baby and doesn't say one word on fb about the baby. Now he's in a deep depression and claims to be so depressed he's suicidal. It drives me crazy; he's only suicidal when things don't go his way. He's pisst because this girl doesn't want him back and to use the baby as a tool is just disgusting. I want to know if he's suicidal or not.  HELP ANYONE! PLZ how do I handle it; if I pacify them it will only get worse and then I feel manipulated; if I don't I'm being accused of being unfeeling; so how can you tell. Recently, and after reading all these posts and doing some research I opted to pacify him out of guilt.

  10. The thing is, I tell people about my depression, anxiety, OCD, because it directly impacts my life (e.g.: compulsions), and try to be open about it, but I seldom show it because to me, being vulnerable is not revealing what has been diagnosed, but rather, 'proving' it.

  11. When I was 10 I went super quiet and challenged myself to talk as least as possible at school. I’m not sure why but I think it was to make others feel sorry for me. 6 years later and it seems like it’s coming back to me.

  12. My friend had depression and saw he saw that people felt bad for him so he took that attention and started to fake being depressed just for attention. He thinks that everyone believes him but little does he know, I know his exact secret because we used to be bffs, he legit stoped hanging out with me because he got popular

  13. I bet the person who wrote the article had one bad experience with someone who had a mental illness and now wants the world to know how hurt they are because they feel so indignant about that experience. Like, educate yourself because you’re so out of touch with mental illness, it’s laughable.

  14. People with mental illnesses aren’t always effected by it. A person with depression can go out and even maybe have a good time. It DOSENT make their depression fake or for attention.

  15. I saw my friends cut and started cutting too around the age of twelve. I would wear short sleeves and I wouldn't care who saw my cuts. When I continued this pattern in high school everyone started saying I wanted attention. I started believing that too. But I do wonder: why would I have this need for attention, if I'm OK? Sometimes getting attention is a good thing, because I really needed it. I needed help.

  16. another thing i find really annoying is when people think you are weird or "obsessed" if you read and talk about mental ilness, some people think that you read about it to add stuff to your diagnosis like cant people want to know about stuff MANY people struggle with just to not be ignorant and talk whatever? just like with everything else people read about? it makes me so upset that people think you will use the information to self diagnose with EVERY SINGLE THING YOU READ ABOUT

  17. I've been watching Kati's channel for a long time now and I never dare to comment but I must say that Kati is so beautiful inside and out! I wish I could be Kati's bff.

  18. Social Media ain't always good about mental illness.
    I've been part of a community who went about joking about the classical tumblr "mental illness" boards and now I'm suspecting that I might have DID but there's a certain fear that I'm straight up wrong or making it up to explain something else and having to admit that to my "public"… Or myself Honestly. I can be a bitch about these things sometimes. Despite knowing that being wrong is absolutely ok and even normal when one is struggling with these things.

  19. Thank you for that video…I don't know how to put it in words (english is not my mothertongue so I might be clumsy) … my family makes me feel like I fake it all… I have depression…severe anxiety…social anxiety too…i have OCDs…anorexia/binge eating…and I started to open my left hand's skin with my finger months ago…and they know it all…they met my doctors and all the specialists I have around me… but still…they make me feel like I fake it all…my mother keeps speaking like "it's only a bad phase. Soon you'll have to find a job and you'll be normal again" … my father acts like everything was just so normal…like I am able to still do everything on my own…like yesterday we were in town for one of my medical appointment…there were people everywhere and I had a panic attack and he kept walking like everything is just so normal…and for my brother…he stoped talking to me like…everything I do is my fault…and we he crosses my path his attitude is just so mean…

    I start to think everything is my fault…I start to believe I am faking it all…i feel so lost…

    But your video…your words…they calmed my anxiety tonight…thank you Kati.

    Best regards from Switzerland.

  20. A few months ago I'd been really struggling and felt like people wouldn't take me seriously because I hadn't talked about how I was really feeling. One night I even felt tempted to hurt myself kind of just to "show" that I wasn't okay. And then I thought about how attention-seeking that is. But I realized a couple things:
    1) When I'm actually feeling good, I NEVER HAVE THAT KIND OF THOUGHT. I never think about harming myself FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. So if I'm having that thought at all, something really is wrong.
    2) Uh, yeah, I am seeking attention. BECAUSE I NEED HELP. BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL SAFE BY MYSELF OR HAPPY OR HEALTHY. So, yes, I am trying to get attention. There is NOTHING wrong with that.

    If you want help, don't be afraid to ask for it. In my experience, the only reason I want help is because I need it, I just feel like I can't say I 'need' it because "it's not as bad as that other time that I really needed help." Doesn't matter if it's not as bad. People can drown in an ocean or in a swimming pool. It doesn't matter how deep you are, if you're struggling for air, you can drown.

    Ask for help, and ignore anyone who tries to make you feel like you don't deserve it.

  21. im pausing mid video just to comment and say i think you're really lovely and i am so happy to know there are therapists like you out there. i can relate a lot to several things, not calling people back, flaking on parties… i mean…. especially the latter is something… parties are a huge stimulus and theres a lot going on… if ur very sensitive dealing with a lot of unpredictable drunk people… or even thinking about certain aquaintances u know act intense in parties is enough to make me not go… this article sounds really awful and is def. written from the perspective of someone who has no idea what it feels like to have that social anxiety and depression… so… yeah… mostly this comment was to tell u that i think youre lovely though.. i can feel u can connect with people, and its so nice! advocate for us loners <3 i appreciate it

  22. All of these things mentioned are exactly what I've been afraid people think and must have heard and absorbed. Thank you SO much for making this video. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I've been ashamed to be considered mentally ill. Rationally I know we all have something to overcome, and to be compassionate, but I didn't realize how much I haven't done that for myself. Also thanks for cussing, it made for a more trustworthy and honest video

  23. I don’t mind if someone has really or fake , but piss me off when they use it to get out work or leave with the crap ppl cause there crying like ok thanks

  24. My fiance didnt believe me when I told him I have borderline personality disorder for so long. He thought I was "being childish" and seeking attention. That changed when I had a bad day. He saw me get so out of control that I almost went to the hospital. Later he said, "Yeah..I believe you now." Like I want to have a personality disorder basically on the verge of psychosis. He thinks its hard to be around. Well try living with it. It's a nightmare

  25. Some people DO fake mental and physical illness. My mother (72) is text book FAKER! First it was her eyesight and claiming she was going blind. Funny how when she got $ in her pocket she could drive to the store and buy scratch off tickets and SEE very well to scratch them off. Then it's the fake deal of, "I forget. I feel all mixed up." Hmmm….she can sit down and balance a bank book to the PENNY to see how much she's got to gamble with. She's NOT confused at all. Now it's an excuse to not clean her house (wants me to do it) because of her leg hurting or can't bend over to pick things up. Mmmmmm….that old woman can do a 100yrd dash in 10sec if she goes to a casino and sees her fav slot machine. My Aunt (90) even told me last time she went with her my mother lost all the fake limp and torn around like a 20yr old! She's lazy #1. #2 A liar. #3 An attention hound. When I call her out on it she gets pissed beyond belief. But, seems funny how she lost all her limp, can see and the confusion is GONE. Biggest problem? GAMBLING ADDICTION!

  26. Hello, I mean, from my illness, what is the meaning of the Koran? End the peace. End the peace. Please surrender. Please surrender. End the peace

    وا شكرن جزيلن

  27. I didn’t begin to have illness until 22 years old. I was doing great and was educated, but people think that if you have an adequate vocabulary or can solve some problems then you can do anything. It always comes down to if you don’t act crazy 24-7 then you’re faking. If that author thinks I want a life like this or I quit trying because it’s great to be alone and lost they are just writing to get readers, make a paycheck. It’s sad and hasn’t improved since the article was written.

  28. This is amazing. One of the mental heath advocates i know detest those who “hoard diagnoses”. Is it wrong to want to find out what’s wrong with you?

  29. I have a question. Last year for pretty much the whole year I could identify with a lot of the symptoms of depression. I never got a diagnosis (I had a lot of anxiety about seeing therapists because I had really bad experiences before) and I was in a lot of denial so I never did anything about it (I have friends who were doing worse than I was, so I convinced myself that nothing was wrong). This year I have been better and I look back and realize how bad that year was. I am wondering if the fact that I’m doing better now a) invalidates my past experience and b) indicates that I will/will not feel that way ever again.

  30. thank you for posting this. I work with teenagers (many of whom are dealing with mental illnesses of their own), and I've heard this all the time from coworkers in the past. Wish I could share this, but the stigma still a horrible reality.

  31. The idea of putting down mental illness by saying its for attention is destructive in nature. It just suggests that we shut up sufferers so they can be alienated just that much more. Yea they want attention, YOUR attention so that they can ask for help in what way they can. Yea we complain but shit some of us are being pushed against a ledge off a tall building give us a fucking break.

  32. Sounds a lot like my mom.. She said stuff about me Faking my Suicide attempt when I was 15.. First it was because I laughed when the nurse told me to, you wouldn’t normally be joking at a time like that.. Second if you really wanted to die you wouldn’t have called 911.. Then I was told I couldn’t be depressed I have too much of an ego.. Sometimes I wonder if I don’t want to get better after all I have struggled with depression, ptsd, and anxiety for 20 years why won’t it get better..

  33. I think especially for young people, depression and therapy and glorified so much. I self-diagnoed depression at 14 and always made jokes like 'lol I'm so depressed because this girl won't talk to me'. I had to be brutally honest with myself to admit that I don't have depression, I think it can sometimes be harder to say you don't than you do. Stop making depression popular, it's good to talk about it but not to make it relatable.

  34. Thank you so much. I was actually afraid to watch this given the title because of a long-standing fear that my mental illness was just a play for attention. My best friend recognized that it wasn't long ago and encouraged me to seek therapy, which I did at her insistence. This video helps ease my fears about this. Cheers, Russ

  35. Well, I stay away from people with those lists. It annoys me when people ask me why I'm not at work. First off, I have a lot of cognitive problems. Growing up, I was disabled but functioned better in the types of jobs I had. I can't do those anymore. I had to read my IQ test online for these bastards. Two, I can't remember people I've talked to, which pisses them off. They all look the same unless I see them a lot. Three, I have bad days, especially during the winter.,as I have raynauds. Four, I can hand out candy at Halloween, but I can't deal with children very long due to POCD, which is annoying. I don't have much education. And if I were fine to go to work, my doctor would tell me. I work on skills in hopes that someday I can go back to work at Subway. I'm not there yet, and I'm tired of being followed and all the junk I get from people.

  36. People ain't gonna like this because they are getting called out. There are a ton of bullshitters out there. All I hear is,"my anxiety" "I'm bipolar". People who act like they are proud of it usually dont have it. They just love the attention.

  37. Wow I wish I didn't have night terrors and PTSD many ppl say its all in my head. Omg I hate that! I don't tell anyone because of that plus they don't understand what I go through and to just get over it.

  38. Number 4 and 5 are the reasons I don't make plans with others. I want to go places, I really do. I even need girl time from time to time. But afraid of what will happen if I wind up not going. Will they think I'm a flake cause I don't hang out? I prefer to just stay home and text. And play with my cat (he loves me no matter what I do. He never judges me). I even make plans to see my fiance during the day (he lives 20 minutes and 10 miles away) and don't see him until later that evening. Luckily, he understands and never gets too upset about me not coming over.
    Now on days like today (it's snowing and the road are horrible) I wanna see him but can't. Not due to my fault either.
    Does that make me lonely? Yes, of course. And seeing all my friends hang out kinda makes me tear up and feel left out. But I rather feel left out cause I didn't go, than to lose friends because they think I am flaky.

  39. Hey Kati I love your Channel . If only i had the internet when i was à teenager i would have felt less alone with à pain that i could not put a name on it . I have been told By my psychiatrist that I just wanted attention. Also that I did not want To get better. I completly closed myself. I felt alone for years i wanted To live like crazy. I just held on one day at a time. God it was hard and it still is when im tired or To much stress.

  40. By the way why do you use the term client when it should be in m'y point of view a patient ? It makes me feel doubtfull because peuple sell To clients even lf its à lie but To à patient the doctor has the duty To tell the truth? And also the client is always right

  41. I have bipolar type 2 and I constantly struggle with this fear that my brain is just making everything up. When I feel up or “normal” I can’t fathom how I would I would have felt so down. it’s so confusing in it of itself.

  42. Hi Kati. Is it natural for a person who thinks suicide to be vocal to anyone? Do I need to see a doctor for mental health if I'm doing self harm? I'm hopeless for myself thou

  43. I love you Kati. I saw this article at the time and it was really hurtful. I love how pissed off you got!l at the article!

  44. I skip the therapist step…. I find talking to someone helps little to none…. for me it's all about grasping the why; as soon as I get it the adjustment is automatic. The old pattern never comes back…. But there actually has to be an honest grasp, I have assumed before and it backfired.

  45. Thank you so much for this video, I struggle with ocd and I often get thoughts of me just faking all this for attention. This helps me feel so much better 💓

  46. I appreciate how straight you talk, no BS or talking down. Thank you for posting this response to the article, its great to hear a professional take on it.

  47. And even if they are faking:
    If people need attention so much that they are willing to ruin their lives faking a mental illness, they definitely need help because that type of attention seeking behavior is an issue in and of itself!

  48. the worst thing ever about anxiety/ depression is that i was scared that deep down my mental illness isn't real because no one would believe me until i was medicated. thank you for this video❤

  49. I have never been taken seriously. No one cares about me truly. I have been treated down and treated poorly. It's like attrition, I look back at all my bad experiences and see how they have led me to the position I am in now. I dont want to do it anymore. I am done trying. So I give up.

  50. I'm on a waiting list for my 4th therapist cause my last 3 all attributed different un-validating claims to my attempts to explain what's going on in my head. It's been 5 years since I first sought out help. It sucks. Your channel helps. I really needed to hear this especially today. Thanks <3

  51. my grandma wont let me see my therapist again or my doctor and made me stop taking meds because she told me it wasnt real so i needed to make sure i wasnt lying to myself

  52. There are many who do do it for attention – the saddest part is that their attention seeking through means of expressing their perceived depression (most of the time not even diagnosed) is usually a biproduct of traits related to, or even a personality disorder likely unbeknownst to them. Depression gets thrown around so often on social media, especially places like twitter that houses thousands of misandrist women who use mental health as an excuse for all sorts of behaviours, who launch vandetta tirades against someone making a joke about depression because that's as far as the moral compass goes. It's a trend these days

  53. I’m diagnosed bipolar. My family has said I just do it for attention. Everyone has their ups and downs. Hate hearing that.

  54. Most of us will never ever ask for help or support because we get these type of comments all throughout our lives and learned to to just hold it inside. I have. It’s where the system fails us again and again.

  55. Number five, acting like you’re fine is something that was taught to me from my family and sometimes I just don’t want to talk about my struggles and so in a social situation I’ll act like everything is fine and that’s not a cry for attention.

  56. Wow, obviously the person who wrote the article has no clue!
    Many times I’ve wished that I had some other illness, one more “socially acceptable,” so that I wouldn’t be seen as a “freak” or think of myself as one. Sadly, I think that my father gravitates toward the article author’s thinking, but he’s very “old school.”

  57. I have experienced having put so much energy into trying to prove to people that I'm not doing the disordered things I'm doing for attention. I have Bipolar disorder and it can be really hard for people around me sometimes. I used to have bulimia as well, and I remember my aunt chasing after me on my way to the bathroom once, she ripped the door open, and screamed her lungs out at me that I was apparently "a happy child" and that I'm "doing all this for attention". Like, what? Who is the crazy one here? As if she knows me better than I know myself? It traumatized me. I thought no one would ever take me seriously if I ever let myself express that I'm not okay. I think that's also why I had an eating disorder, I think that I felt like my Bipolar was so intense but my family was just too intense to comfort me. So I developed bad coping mechanisms to keep myself quiet. It was like a silent shout BECAUSE I WAS MENTALLY AT MY WORST.

    Thank you for talking about these stigmas, Kati. I feel so reassured that I'm not being fake and that it is mostly people misunderstanding my situation.


    P. S. great reaction to those bullshitters who are also blaming this on LGBTQ+ people. The lady who wrote that article seems uninformed or plainly selective.

  58. I don't want to ask others for help because there is still a possibility that I am faking it or I am afraid that things could get worse when I reach out. I really can't understand anything of this.

  59. it*s actually a bad habit to fake being sad, depressed or unhappy. If you’re happy then don’t ever fake depression cause you don’t really know what it feels like to be depressed or mentally ill. Be grateful for the situation you’re in and don’t act that you’re depressed, you don’t really know what depression is capable of.

    In short, “Don’t Idolize an Era you didn’t have to Struggle In” ~ XXXTENTACION

  60. Thank you so much for this video! I have schizoaffective disorder and my whole family are not the least bit interested in it. They say things all the time like I'm not trying to get better. They don't even know all the symptoms I struggle with on a daily basis. On days when I can't get out of bed, it's like having physical pain. They say that I just need to exercise. Well how the heck am I supposed to exercise when I can't even get out of bed? There are so many other symptoms and side effects that I have to deal with. It's makes me so sad that my family doesn't support me or try to educate themselves on my illness. Thanks for going to bat for us against the horrible person who wrote that article. 😀

  61. I have bipolar/ptsd. I get a lot of people thinking I'm faking. Don't care. It's true and there. Now….I did stumble upon this searching "why do some people fake mental illness?" Bc I know people who obviously don't have bipolar. I've lived it, I've been in therapy since 13, I can see who is faking. It upsets me. I know the syptoms they are talking about are not bipolar. I politely suggest it might be a different diagnosis. Have they been professionally diagnosed? It's just upsetting. I don't want a mental illness, it's not a cool thing. It's insulting to what I've been through when people just throw it around.

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