100 thoughts on “My Eating Disorder Story – Lindsey Stirling | Kati Morton

  1. Im about 4 months into my second time in recovery and seeing two of my favorite people discuss this.
    And someone I so admire share her story of how she got through helped so much! "It's worth it; you're worth it." Is going on my recovery poster/collage board!!!
    "Recovery is a process not perfection!" And "I am working towards a healthy mind and a healthy body!" Are already up there!

    Thank you so much again!
    I love you Kati, and Lindsey!

  2. This is a really great video. I love hearing personal recounts of how people experienced their mental health struggles or illnesses and how they overcame them. It's very inspiring. I'd be very interested in hearing another person's success story with social anxiety though. It feels like you need to be social in order to be successful in life, or just to live normally. Going to school, to work, running errands etc. Even with the huge convenience of the internet not everything can be done online and even phone calls are anxiety-provoking. Getting help is a social thing so it would be really difficult for them to seek help.

  3. I lived this! I relate to the despair of hearing that it 'never goes away'. When i was in hospital, my therapist told me to expect to have to be readmitted over and over because it's not something thst can be cured, and it tipped me into a horrible depression because it felt like i'd been given a life sentence and that there was literally no point even trying. I absolutely LOVE the analogy of it bejng like a demon showing up in different dresses, but you learn to recognise the face and then it becomes laughably powerless. Thank you for sharing your story, Lindsey, and thanks for a great interview, Katie!!

  4. I never got real therapy or anything but did as much online research and NEDA text lines and reading when needed and over time I kind of just slowly stopped the behaviors. I know it’s not conventional to not get therapy for it and thoughts creep up but I can honestly say that I know that lifestyle is not what I want for my life anymore and it is all consuming and there’s so much more I want to do with my life that I know I couldn’t if I kept that part of my life alive. I will say this video/ interview was so refreshing in that it was kind of light hearted and hopeful, I used to watch similar videos but it left me feeling sad and heavy. So awesome. New favorite artist to look into for me💕

  5. theres group therapy right near my house and I frowned my face up at the idea. But I know it's probably what I need to do. Thank you!

  6. I don't have an ED but I've known people who do. But I love Kati and Lindsey and watching this video, knowing the good it's doing, is really lovely and heartwarming.

  7. Do you know much about diabulimia? Would love a video on this topic. I believe technically there is no ‘official’ diagnosis per the DSM??
    It’s a very real thing though so would love a video on it xx

  8. The part I like most is how you put all your effort into getting better and then you got to be you again. That is a great thought and a great goal.

  9. Something that's helped me (but is very tricky to handle/see) is to actually write down the meals I am having and what I've eaten. Not the numbers though, not the calories or carbs or sugar because I've been finding more and more of those words triggering for me and idk if that's something that's gonna go away soon but I'm trying to change the way I see meals. I want to see them as what they are (fuel and energy). As "chicken" and "spinach" and "blueberries" rather than "fat" "sugar" "weight" "numbers numbers numbers" etc. I've also found cooking helps me a lot on days that are stressful or hard to handle because it takes time out of my day to work on ME and my mind and my wants/needs. I still have days that are full of wanting an empty stomach but I know that can go down hill very fast and unhealthy. So, to recap, Tips:
    1. Cook your food-it's time for yourself
    2. Look up new recipes rather than nutritional values
    3. Remember your worth it.

  10. I think from this video I got the realization that I'm always "planning" even when I play it off that I'm "too busy." I juggle three jobs and college, so I give people the excuse that I'm too stressed to sit down and plans meals throughout the day. But, if I know I have to go out to eat, there is always something planned (exercise, no food throughout the day) to compensate. My anxiety about going out to eat has been managed through exercise and a vegan diet. This video really helped me look at my own struggles. Thank you for sharing your story <3

  11. Hi Kati! Interesting video , as always !
    I know this is very specific but I've been trying to get your attention on something I tweeted that seems to be missing on the internet for some reasons. My Twitter is trijatis and I explain my questions about the difference between being a teenager with and without a mental illness. If you could just read it (it's short I promise) , it would mean a lot ! Hope you'll read this 🙂 have a great day!

  12. It's honestly so scary how eating/mental health disorders can just sneak in and you may or may not ever really know you have a problem.

  13. Your words in this video really resonated with me. Thank you Lindsey for sharing your story, and thank you Kati for giving this story a platform on your channel! 🙂

  14. im months into my recovery. ive stepped backwards and fowards here and there. im so happy youre making this video and im so sorry i cant see it completely. remembering all these things give me anxiety and makes me feel like i have to do it again. because i fucked up because i forgot what i was supposed to do.
    also something interestig u asked her was when did you know u had an ed. i came to the realization i kinda never did like even know i just hink im kinda fucked up and i just decided to do it like how you decide to sleep early sometimes. i do separate myself from the ed (or at least i try) but the little bit i was able to see was very interesting and insigtful about what i should pay attention to in my own recovery right now.

  15. Hey Kati great video I have a question
    Any tips for talking to parents about suicidal thoughts/ going to the er when it becomes too much to handle? Thanks

  16. The counseling at BYU turned my brother's friend down for services because he was schizophrenic. They also missed my other brother's ADHD even though he tested positive for it. He ended up wasting 15,000 dollars on becoming an actor to no avail.

  17. I think it took 4 years before I hit that okay point with eating… then I went back and forth for about 6 years. Not having stable counseling did nothing to help. 😧 I'm now truly okay, 13 years later. I'm thankful for and proud of my recovery.

  18. can you please make a video addressing all of the talk about mental illness surrounding the most recent school shooting in florida? people are blaming mental illness even more than usual this time (even so many people in support of gun control), and i don't know how to handle this because of the stigma this is creating, and when i get upset or angry about it, people are judging me even more because they know i'm mentally ill.

  19. Hi Kati! 🙂
    First time writing!
    I just love the fact that, aside the artist, she shows us a more human face of hers such as sharing fearlessly her own experience when dealing with that disorder problem. In a way or another, I bet plenty of people will feel identified (I did!) and give them hope for the overcoming process. That's one of the main reasons I admire her and am still following her journey.
    Thanks so much for uploading the interview!
    Have a nice week!
    Blessings!!

  20. On group therapy, it's not exactly what I had, but something similar. I could tell more but I don't want this post to be too long. The group was people from the same education I was studying. End result was a whole lot of sharing. I shared stuff I have not shared to some of my closest friends and family and so did the others. And from being guarded against some of the other classmates. After that I liked them. Strange but cool.

  21. #KatiFAQ hi not sure where to ask this but are you wasting a suicide hotline’s if you call for suicidal thoughts that you’re having a hard time stopping but aren’t in immediate danger? I would feel bad calling if it meant someone else that was in immediate danger didn’t get connected because I was on the line. Thanks!

  22. Hey if you could cover the difference between the bad voice in your head between being schizophrenic. I don’t know if it’s me saying it or another voice at this point. My grandma was in a mental hospital her entire life once she was 27 ish, for schizophrenia and i don’t know if it’s my anxiety and self doubt or clearly another voice. Thank you!!

  23. Can you do a video on how to spot a manic or hypomanic episode? Or point me to an existing video that might explain this in detail?

  24. I would love a video about comorbid mental illnesses as well. Which ones commonly are comorbid with others? How many comorbid mental illnesses can you have before it becomes a larger diagnosis? Can you sometimes find a better diagnosis that fits all of your symptoms when you have symptoms of more than one disorder?

  25. That was such an amazing talk! Perhaps, in the future, you could have a similiar talk with someone that overcame depression, explaining the 'overcoming process' just as you did here. Amazing, amazing, amazing.

  26. Ooh, started tearing up. Just subscribed to this channel. I'm glad that Lindsey's tweet brought me here! As someone going to school for psychology and who has struggled with a lot of different things for a long time, this channel is right up my alley.

  27. Hi Katie. Do you have a video on affordable therapy resources ? I’m trying to get help but it’s so expensive it’s 150 per session with insurance

  28. I don't know if I have an eating disorder, that is the problem because when I am sad sometimes I eat a lot and some others time I praticly eat nothing. I'm always argumenting with my dad and few days ago I even insulted my sister. I love her so much, and I didn't thought about what I told her.
    I don't know what to do, I went to talk to a therapist but she didn't helped me. I talked to my mom but she can't help me, even talking to my friends is usless because anybody can understand what I am living, what's inside of me.
    I don't know what to do anymore. 😔

  29. I wish you were my therapist Kati! your truly amazing and understand so much and have made me understand myself alittle more! more than anyone has! . so thank you. i was so lost , so confused, i felt so alone and i felt like i was the only crazy one like this 🙁 my care here is so messed up right now and i am so lost … i have never gone through treatment like this as i have only just gone into inpatient without "support" before and then nothing… this time ive been passed between cmht, ed services, different people and all i get is more diagnosis 🙁 ED, EUPD , PTSD, dissociative disorder, severe anxiety and depression.. but noone is helping with anything 🙁 not letting me talk about anything as they are scared im not "ready" or stable enough… but when is the right time? ive kept this inside for now 12 years… im so scared, i feel so empty but so full i could explode!… thank you again for all your videos they are truly amazing.. i wish i believed it could get better, i could be different but im not sure that right now xxx

  30. 2weeks ago I ate a huge dinner and wasn’t hungry until lunch the next day. I thought nothing of it. I had a normal lunch and wasn’t hungry at dinner time, or even breakfast time. At lunch I was barely hungry, and I ate 1/2 my sandwich and felt full, but something inside of me made me eat. I finished off the lunch and wasn’t hungry for dinner, but ate a little bit because me family would get suspicious. So now I’m on week 2, I haven’t eaten breakfast at ALL, eat hardly any lunch, and dinner so it will look normal. But I’ve noticed once I start eating something, the taste is overwhelming and I can’t stop, even though my stomach is full. I really don’t know what to do. Please help!

  31. Kati I absolutely LOVED this video! Your videos have been helping me for about two years now and I’m still in recovery from ED and this empowered me so much !!! This motivated me even more to recover and keep pushing through , thank you!!!💞💞💞

  32. Kati, thank you so much for your videos. I am a huge fan. I have dealt with SEVERE anxiety, agoraphobia, PTSD, etc. for a long time, and I really started to heal recently once I started watching your videos. I have become more confident and overcome some of my anxiety which is INCREDIBLE! But recently I have been having issues with my sister who is very narcissistic and "gaslights" a lot, to everybody. She gives backhanded compliments, and has just become so mean for no reason. I know that I need to diffuse my triggers, and remove toxic people from my life and she is both. A huge trigger, she brings up triggers, and is very toxic. What do I do?! If it was just a friend it would be easier to get rid of that toxic, narcissistic person, but she is my sister. IDK what to do. PLEASE HELP!!

  33. I liked that part of the video where you both stress the importance of separating yourself from your eating disorder. I feel like that could apply to other mental illnesses as well.

  34. Hey Kati have you seen Demi Lovato’s documentary simply complicated? and if so what do you think of it?

  35. I love how you both emphasize the importance of separating yourself from the eating disorder. It's so hard to actually do though, especially when it's been an issue for many years. Any tips on how to do this?

  36. I currently am in month 9 of recovery and the biggest truth I’ve heald onto is to take one step at a time. Yes its a phrase that is overused but its true. I literally try to remember and tell myself today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow. Nothing is forever. So know that you are not alone, well worth being here and that you are stronger than you might think. You are enough and needed and you can do anything in this world even if it feels like you can’t.

  37. Wonderful story 🤘🐲 group therapy is a great way to let Bond and express your stories on addiction and other vices that plaguing today's generation.

  38. so proud of you, lindsey! you're talented and beautiful and awesome! and to the interviewer, you are also talented, beautiful and awesome!

  39. My mother is very mad at me for having anorexia but I can't control my eating disorder. Do you have any tips.

  40. Thank you so much for this video. I can relate to almost everything you said.
    When I got to the hospital with my eating disorder, it was the first time someone told me There is a problem. To be honest I was happy to hear them say it, that I have an eating disorder because it was the fist time there was an explanation to what I feel

  41. thx for this ha bisky vid i have not been wanting to eat at times because of my sever depression i wanted to have something different it was a bad idea it had pesto sauce on it and it can make me sick and it did so now i want nothing to eat because of my physical health and it sucks

    at least i didnt let my disordered eating stop me from having a meal everyday like i let it do in the past my brain is totally fucked up again from so many screwed up things happening in my life (all are pretty much positive but negative voices get in the way)

    i am looking forward to vidcon and meeting alli again so much to tell her since she took a year off of vlogging if not longer (viacom is hoping vidcon will make alli vlog again i dont know if that is the case but i am happy she will be at vidcon)

  42. I hate it when people say “if you want to be skinny then you should just eat healthy” it’s not just being skinny it’s so much more than that.

  43. I have learned that I need to treat my anxiety and my depression the same way. It isn't me…it is a part of me that has to be worked through and "cleaned out" periodically but it isn't who I am. It is just something that has to be dealt with.

  44. Hello I believe I have developed a slight eating disorder my school social worker agrees with me I don’t want to tell my parents but I want help what do I do

  45. Hey Kati,
    I have a question about eating disorders. So I've kind of struggled with eating for the past year but I am still a healthy weight and usually eat enough most days. I have odd eating habits and need to feel safe in order to eat, and have some symtpoms that aline with eating disorders, but I don't believe they are severe enough to need to seek help. My friends are worried about me though. They don't think I eat enough and think that I have an eating disorder, but I don't think my struggles are intense or bad enough to be considered an eating disorder. Do you think my friends have better judgement than I do of whether I need professional help or not?

  46. I just saw Lindsey in concert with Evanescence. I knew about her and have always thought she was amazingly talented, but I'm new to ACTUALLY learning more about her journey with music and what not. Anyways, I had no idea that she had struggled with anorexia until she brought it up at the show, and the words she said were so empowering. It made me cry, but in a good way. I've struggled off and on with anorexia for years. Mine isn't because I'm afraid of gaining weight, but because I'm afraid of being sick and somehow have this connection in my brain between food and sickness? Like she said… there's no logic behind eating disorders! I, too, went to therapy and consider myself mostly recovered, as I actually know how to handle it now and can tell when I'm getting "bad" or "off" again. But, yeah, anyways, I'm really glad she opened up about this in more detail in your video together! It's always so helpful for those of us who have been there or are still there. Thank you both for sharing this! Much love!

  47. Lindsey is awesome! I saw her in concert with Evanescence yesterday and she gave a few motivating speeches that really gave me the positive boost I needed. She is a wonderful performer too.

  48. Ask Katie #katiefaq can you do a video for helpful things for parents to say during eating disorders? How to approach it? What not to say to your kids? A video to help parents with their kids eating disorders?

  49. Holy shot, thank you!!! The way you explained the “incurableness” of an eating disorder makes me WAY less anxious! Thank you thank you thank you!!

  50. had an eating disorder for nearly ten years but then i got saved and gave it over to the Lord Jesus and He healed me almost 8 years ago!! <3 life is good since then

  51. Finally!!!! Someone who doesn't glorify it. People are all like, I'm so strong for going through self harm. I've gone through shit and I don't think it made me stronger. I just got through it.

  52. i went through so many different stages of depression, one where I was afraid of gaining weight, one where I was afraid to fall asleep, one where I was afraid of myself and what i could do, another where I was afraid of going to bed (different to the falling alseep one because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to fall alseep) and another where I didn't want to live anymore because I had gone through all of these things and life just kept giving me more things to overcome. I'm going through another stage of depression now and it's because my mum has left home and been diagnosed with a form of schizophrenia or psychosis and after years of ruining my mentality, abusing me physically, saying I wasn't heaven worthy, accusing me of things I didn't even know I could do and praising my brother she left home because I had "thrown my phone at her" I didn't throw it at her I threw at the goddam ground out of anger of what she did to me

  53. I LOVE these two wonderful ladies😍! I’am soo thankful that this video was uploaded! Because I am REALLY struggling. Not with an eating disorder but with self harm,yep you read that right..sadly u did.

    I’ve struggled with self harm on and off since I was a pre teen, now that I’am older I find I wanna cut deeper but to scared to do it🙄. Now today I am EASILY triggered like if I see a cut on someone I IMMEDIATELY look at my arms, and I want to self harm.

    It is sooo HARD NOT to pick up the blade and do it, I gave my tools to my doctor had him throw it away over the summer. When I go shopping at either Kroger or Target I find myself looking up and down the hygiene isle’s to find blades, I’am yet again too SCARED to ask a worker where they might be.

    It like OVERTAKES you ANY ADDICTION you may have..when you want to relapse it’s on the mind on the DAILY! Thank u for uploading this! Videos like these are what keeps ME ALIVE🖤.

    To ANYONE who are in the early stages of self harm,ask for help SPEAK UP! I know you are scared and trembling with fear. Once you do you will feel a sense of relief. Please don’t be like me keeping it a secret and letting it get out of hand. That VERY FIRST cut I did it become an ADDICTION!

  54. "The food I ate meant I was a bad person." Why do we think things like this…? It really does sound crazy coming from someone else.

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