My Childhood Traits | Autism Spectrum Disorder

toby do you want to be in the video okay so I had said that I would do a
follow-up video talking about some of the traits that I personally experienced
and that’s what this is I guess a good place to start would be with childhood
my mother always said that I was a perfect baby
that was just like she called me her sunshine. I was a perfect baby and then the more that I looked into things and started out like asking my mom about
what I was like as a child she was like oh yeah you were great I could wake
up in the morning and you would wake up and you’d be in your crib and you
wouldn’t, you wouldn’t call for me you would just sit there for hours
and I was like ooh I mean like that’s really convenient when you’re busy and
you don’t want a baby to cry but it’s also a really normal thing for
babies to want their parents and stuff so that’s fun. as a kid
I don’t really like know if there were a ton of sensory things. we had a
drawer full of mittens and warm clothes and I would just pull open
the mitten drawer and sit in it and then I would just put on all of the
mittens and stuff. I have pictures of me in backpacks. I had these backpacks that I used to wear all the time
and I just liked to wear them and stuff there’s pictures of me
sleeping with mittens and backpacks on cuz like that’s what I did. a lot of
kids I guess like often take their clothes off because of sensory stuff I
wanted them on all of them all the time so that’s interesting. no
language or developmental delays. I was a super finicky kid as far as like
throwing up and I always had stomachaches and we needed to go to
all these doctors which is not on the diagnostic criteria but anecdotally
I guess is a very common thing. in addition to that I was so clumsy and I
would fall over all the time and I would like turn the corner too
quickly and smash into corners and walls and I fell up and down the stairs
and my mother was actually so worried about it
that she thought there was something legitimately wrong with me and
in addition to that like I was like I used to get like I was a I really liked
to read and I you to get like so focused on reading that
if my mom talked to me I didn’t respond or didn’t hear or anything so there were
like a lot of times I would just get like fixated on something and then like
not respond to people talking to me and so she was like maybe it’s like a
hearing balance problem I remember doing all this like hearing tests and then
like nothing came of it and then I got a cat scan because she was legitimately
worried that I had a brain tumor or something that’s how clumsy I was lots
of fun fact other fun facts as far as um special interests go I think obviously
like boys are more into like trains and fire trucks I think even like
neurotypical boys I loved animals but like not like oh I like okay I do
actually really like horses but not like puppies and kittens and like unicorns I
was like I remember I discovered the word world Wolverine in a knight
cyclopædia when I was like 7 and read everything about Wolverines and just
thought they were the best animal and I did like projects on them in class was
like what do you want to do about and I was like Wolverines and like everything
about them and ferrets are actually like in like a similar they’re all muscle
it’s Wolverines too and so my like interest in Wolverines then like
intensely went into like other animals and all the animals they’re related to
and that like quickly turned into obsession with ferrets and you’ll notice
that that’s not something that has stopped really even just like telling
people facts that they don’t want to know is like every time somebody’s like
oh but something ferrets I wrote it and I’m like I have this like speech that
just comes out all the time of like actually and so all of my close friends
can tell you all about ferrets not by choice and it was horses I think as I
got like a little bit older and I feel like every little girls obsessed with
horses so it’s like normal but like I managed to like get a job kind of a
volunteer position when I was like 13 and just would like sit in the barn and
be so happy I wouldn’t need to sit me there all day I would love it and then
that sort of like turned into a more working position I did get bullied at
work but I didn’t I don’t know if it really
counseling because I didn’t care because I was just so happy that there were
horses around and I was learning things about horses that like literally the
girls being like hey you we don’t like you today you can’t be her friend like
making like stupid comments about that all the time and like not inviting me to
like oh we’re all going for lunch except for you and I’m just like that’s fine
I’m gonna stay at the bar I didn’t care I was just the horses that was enough
for me so that’s I guess really convenient it
still weak like you just like a weird routine stuff is like I always ate my
food in a specific order I still sometimes know I still do it a lot of
stress about like the order in which I eat food and I hate to have like
unevenness and so like even if one’s hands just like a little bit way I’ll
like completely soaked both hands and then like driving both so that it’s like
a normal even amount of wet and dry and then like almost dry
Oh as far as like steaming goes I don’t know what if I did anything as a kid as
a kid I was like like growing up I was a chewer and I just used to chew on
everything and so like I guess that counts as this Tim I like pencil caps
again you said just Roy pencils I used to destroy pen let’s like crack the
plastic I cannot count the number of times I chewed on a pen and ended up
with a mouthful of ink like it was like you didn’t just chew on the pan a little
bit it was like I would break them and then like multiple times ended up being
like I had on the bathroom because I would like crack the pen and I would
just like get ink and I know gross like anytime I had something with a straw I
would like methodically like chew this drop until it was like a tiny little
ball and often people like we’re like oh you do have any more gum and I was like
this doesn’t come this is a straw and they’re like well it’s gross I hope I
played gum doesn’t have the same kind of like resistance that has tried us
different not as pleasant to chew I don’t know that I was ever like
super-sensitive DeNiro’s but now that I have my noise-canceling headphones
they’re like changing my life because like I don’t think I ever realized like
how training it is to like process so many different things and when you like
can take a lot of that ambient noise away I’m just like yeah suddenly like I
thought being in this place may be anxious turns out if you think of the
noise it’s not so bad actually I probably should have known that noise is
bother me because like one of the things that I’ve always done since I was like a
little kid was like to cover my ears when I just like wanted to
calm down or whatever or like was just like by myself
I covered my ears a lot and I remember being like super ashamed of it and like
knowing that it was weird like had a dream that I had a neighbor had seen me
covering my ears cuz I did it I do it still when I’m in the bathroom
especially and she was like and I was like oh no she’s gonna tell people that
I really cover my ears when I go to the bathroom which I just thought was like
super strange but I was like like it’s something that’s persistent things like
when I was trying to sleep like the sound of my own heartbeat you’ve so
drive me nuts I feel like mom against me I mean she be like oh no way like my
heartbeat is too loud like I can hear it in my ears and it’s
so awful and I was just like couldn’t sleep because of it I was like super
worried about touching I remember like I did get me kind of in junior high
because like as a 13 year old girl like girls are like we’re gonna hug each
other every time you see and I was just like please don’t touch me and like now
I’m a lot better I just like firm touch instead of light touch which i think is
fine like going through school like I would think I was like most of my
teachers like me because I was like very very polite and very honest and like
very direct about things and um but I would just like do weird things like
just like get up out of a classroom and like leave like if I didn’t want to be
there I would just be like though I’m gonna go now
and like I wouldn’t say anything I just like get up and leave and then it’d be
like where you going and I’d be like to the bathroom and then keep walking and
it was like I don’t think anybody of my teachers like really knew what to do
with me because like I wasn’t I was clearly not intentionally being
disrespectful the homework it’s like oh did you do your work I’m like no it’s
like why did it I was like I really feel like it and she just it’d just be like
what is like who look what kind of student is just like I didn’t do a thing
and like the best thing I was just like so honest and didn’t even under think
why would I lie about that um so those are some of the tricks I watch for a
really long time I didn’t cover I covered like I covered like half of
the things on the sheet that I wrote so for all of you total internet diagnosis
it’s not the whole story it’s probably never gonna be this is probably gonna be choppy because
it’s the Internet so this is Toby a special interest from
zero Toby second only to my love of backpacks and mittens

100 thoughts on “My Childhood Traits | Autism Spectrum Disorder

  1. OMG, I SO get the straw thing!!!!

    Also understand the fixations, involuntary information sharing and so much more.

    Thanks for sharing. You are very brave to do so. Many girls and women have been already, and will continue to be helped by your story. I know I have.

    P.s. It's also always bugged me when ferrets are called rodents.

  2. Thanks for sharing! I'm the same but obsessed with dogs mostly (but also every other animal, especially horses and other social mammals). I work as a dog trainer so it's "normal" for me to be talking about dogs all the time, so I go under the radar mostly. 😛

  3. PLEASE do more of these!! So many people who are talking about ASD only talk about it in a negative light, or with a pitiful victim complex. You're so good at this 😀
    What are the things you struggle with day-to-day and how do you deal with it better?

  4. 00:40 Interesting, my mom says that when I was little I'd play all alone by myself. I wouldn't cry. She said I would entertain myself.

  5. Lynn, do you know what your personality type is? MBTI, Myer Brigg Type Indicator? I'm very curious if you are the same as me. My niece is the same personality type as me, she is 13. She loves wolves! She's highly intelligent.

  6. My 3 yr old daughter was just diagnosed with ASD this summer and I can’t tell you how many people including medical professionals said “she’s not autistic.” I had a gut instinct and kept pushing to have her evaluated. Finally her Neurologist diagnosed her within 5 min. of meeting her. I was so incredibly relieved and at the same time terrified. I began researching specifically ASD in females and I’ve been advocating for her ever since. There’s been almost no support or guidance from her doctors. I’ve had to push and ask for everything she needs. She’s very minimally verbal and is in speech occupational and physical therapy. She’s also in a special ESE pre-K class at school. Now I’m getting into the PECS system for communication and really am having a hard time teaching her things like dressing herself, potty training, feeding herself, brushing her teeth, etc. Each day is challenging but totally worth it. She’s so special and unique and I’m so blessed to be her mom. Best of luck to you and Thank you for sharing it gives me such hope. ❤️💛💚💙

  7. Hey! 🙂 Just wanted to let you know that I think you're brave for sharing your stories, and I watched both of your autism related videos.
    Just a thing that bothered me throughout this video was you constantly pressuring your ferret to be in one position, he probably just wants to go to play. It was kind of distracting.
    Much love to you 🙂

  8. I was late diagnosed as autistic at 12, but wasn't until I was nearly 17-18 I heard my official diagnosis.
    Currently been with my husband 10 years(married 5) and he tries to tell me things all the time about his issues with mental health chalking them up to like anxiety and other things and I am just now starting to get through to him what he's really experiencing is the male side of autism, but yes sometimes it comes out as anxiety/ocd/add/bipolar etc as far as inconvenient symptoms.
    We have a son who is turning 3 and I really hope we are on the right track for his partial spectrum. Starting preschool later this month. His speech is at about that of an 18 month old(but quickly improving finally). But I think schools are better equipped now and I wont let them hold him back from behavior that actually helps him learn. Or force him to do things outside his sensory comfort and complain about his reactions if they happen to push those buttons.

  9. Me:

    Infant/toddler- I remember hating attn. My parents & older sister would stand in front of me in high chair & sing & I hated it & would cry. The more I reacted negatively, the more they’d continue & laugh. My older sister began speaking for me at an early age. She was like my personal interpreter.

    Age 3/4 Obsessed w/ trying on older sister’s shoes. I had a routine. Super sensitive. Hated pre-k. Parallel play?

    Neat freak. Rearranged my bedroom & obsessively showed my mom like I just created a masterpiece.

    Always felt more knowledgeable than teachers. Others behaviors & communication seemed stupid. To this day, nvr understood how ppl can talk to each other so long on 1 subject. I feel like saying, get on w/ it already. Move on. Aren’t you bored? Haha

    Hated detergent aisle in stores & refused to walk down them. Fabric sensitive. Suffered a ton w/ 70’s-80’s materials.

    Obsessed w/ security blanket slung over L shoulder when at home from age 3? to 12? I still feel comforted by having fabric slung on L shoulder. My 11 yr old son has been wearing the same zip up hoodie for 3 yrs & likes to keep hood slung fwd on his left shoulder lately.

    Age 5-7 Un-dx anxiety manifested in diff ways. I was quiet & sneaky. Always called shy. Couldn’t talk at times from age 3-10? & would shrug my shoulders as my answer. Very creative. Introvert. Loved art. Teachers began asking my mom if everything ok at home. Said I was often easily distracted. Not dx w/ ADD until 19 & nvr took meds.

    Need resource in early grades for telling time & counting $. Struggled big time w/ those 2.
    Poor reading comprehension.

    Age 8-12 More of the same/feeling worse. One nite at 10/11?, I felt the need to get out of bed at nite (before falling asleep) to have all items meticously set on dresser TOUCHING. I’m 45. I catch myself doing this over certain things I set down or I feel intense anxiety.

    I was intense w/ friendships, having 1 BFF who consistently broke my heart as she had other friends. I was a happy girl. I did rock back & forth in a ball bed if I couldn’t sleep. Bad bruxism. Often sick w/ hives. Mono at 6. ETD.

    Age 13-17 Quirky, teachers always loved me, science teacher nicknamed me potential energy. I was ADD & didn’t know it. 😔 Always flailing thru life.

    Began partying too much by 18. 😕 Held too many jobs from 16-28. I’ve done it all! Easy to hire, quit, or easy to fire. Often screwing up & hard time understanding why. 😥

    Non-conforming, not respecting authority, highly creative, articulate, struggled in school/but terrible at studying. I did work very hard. Began having serious test anxiety in college courses. I had teachers ask me how I derived at such answers. I was a meticulous note taker, but I guess my poor comprehension was hurting me.

    Gave up on nursing degree due to algebra req, even tho finally passed intro to alg. I wonder what I would’ve achieved w/ ADD meds. At 43, a Dr. said he’d give me Ritalin, but w/ my insomnia, I decided against it at this point in my life.

    I know I’m not just ADD. I was/am too quirky. But, I could be wrong. Not looking to ever get an ASD dx. My oncologist looked at me at one appt. & said, “you’re very smart aren’t you.” I was crying over my health problems. I told her that I’m probably ADD & referred me to another Dr. *I feel weird that she said that. I’m actually self-conscious more than ever now. I hate socializing as it’s too draining. I’m witty & often the life of the party. But tire out quickly & get tired of being the conversation starter at times & then having to listen to ppl drone on & not let anyone interject. My fam laughs at me when we end up carrying on 3 convos in text at once. Oops. Oh well. 😎

  10. Wow the heartbeat thing got me. I was like omg I do that! And I do get overwhelmed with noise sometimes. Really considering testing.

  11. Thanks for sharing your experience. haha I totally get the chewing of pens and pencils. I would chew and suck pencils, also chew on paper when I was younger.
    I don't remember what I was hyper focused on in terms of interests when I was younger. Perhaps the computer and computer games. When I was a teenager I was very interested in music and a specific band. I'm still obsessed with music. Also the paranormal.
    I was a very fussy eater and only ate foods that I knew. Now I do like to try new foods but I have to process the change first. A big thing that effected me was not knowing who I was as a person and struggling with any change. For a long time I was very hard on myself because of that. I had this inner dialogue that would be like "why can't I just do things straight away" "Why don't I have the motivation/energy to do things". Now I totally understand the: I have to process through change and that's okay.:) I'm 27 now and although I don't have the diagnose i know I have ASD also it's in my family and it just makes total sense.

  12. You've inspired me. I was trying to do a tumblr blog but it didn't have the delivery that I now know by watching you that I'd have with video. I had an extremely similar experience with the diagnosis. I had always lightly played around with the concept but I didn't actually believe it because I seemed to be doing fine. I think I'm a bit of a spectrum gender hybrid. I never really communicated with men (a) because they're just not good at it. and I think (b) is because I have four sisters, three older and learned to talk with them so I confused males like it's a womans thoughts coming out of a dude which they couldn't judge the threat level of because I had no idea they have unspoken pecking order. I noticed almost all the comments are female. This really helps me solidify my balance. Like I used to, again, lightly consider that I thought like a female but you've helped very much in that I have a real female spectrum example to gauge myself from. Again, thank you so much!😁

  13. Okay I just wanted to let you know, that you stimmed a lot in both videos. This is something i have done a lot of research on. So, from my understanding, these things count as stimming. Playing with your hair, rocking as you sit, moving hands while speaking, the way in which you played with your ferret. That last one id classify as sensory seeking. Stimming not something that is only regulated to hand flapping and meltdowns. Recently I realized that i had a vocal stim where i make a sound in the back of my throat that is like a hum but deeper. For whatever reason i find this calming and pleasant and don’t realize when i do it half the time at least. As I’ve learned more about stimming i stopped suppressing them and embraced them. It make the inner life more calming if it makes me look odd…. i mean, lets just all spin in circles. Whats better than that?

  14. Great video. I have various obsessions and phases too. I’m obsessed with cats, animals in general, and recently YouTube lol. I even used to work at an animal shelter

  15. Regarding hands on your ears in the bathroom- Do you have a bathroom fan? Bathroom fans bother me BC they aren't an even smooth rotation and they are typically loud.

  16. i can relate to you in almost every way lol…. including the ferrets. i have three of my own 💖
    thank you for posting this! it’s nice to be able to relate to another aspie in so many ways considering how big the spectrum is ☺️

  17. My mum said I was like that as a baby too! I didn't walk till 2.5 years. I never crawled but shuffled around on my bottom. I was only diagnosed this year, at 50!

  18. Some of those traits I can relate to. I would do the same thing with straws. I would cover my ears in class because I couldn't concentrate during tests. My special interest was revolved around animals. I liked weird animals that typicals girls would think is gross. I am fascinated by frogs and platypus. I had so many stuffed animals that I couldn't fit them all on my bed. They would all have names and I would have to line them all up in the right order.

  19. What should I say to a friend (15yrold) who completely fits the female high functioning Autism signs… but is in denial that there is anything other than anxiety going on.?. She has dealt with sooo much… but also been really mean a hurt me.. she blames it all on her anxiety, but she definitely can control her actions.

  20. Please make more videos! How did you develop your masking techniques? How did you join a sports team? What motivated you to join? How did the team accept you?

  21. What you said about bullying really got to me. Like growing up I always knew people kind of made fun of me but I never thought of it as bullying because it never bothered me. It bothered me more that I didn't care than them making fun of me.

  22. OMFG that heartbeat thing was so meeee…Also, for many years I couldn't sleep unless I had a blanket wrapped around the top of my head so that it was down over my ears. It made me feel safe. I eventually forced myself to stop because I began to realize that it was "weird" and what babies did. Social pressures affect the most private times…

  23. So glad I stumbled upon you talking about this. I'm at a similar stage of life, years of barking up the wrong tree and then one day out of the blue ASD was mentioned. Feels good though right, it's a bit like finally finding the "starters guide" it seemed everyone else got on that day I was off school sick.

    Thanks for the upload.

  24. Ok I've been diagnosed rather late in my life, this Summer to be precise but there is a shedload you say that I can relate to except the horse thing.
    But most of all the wolverine! Wolverines are just the coolest creature ever, love'em ever since I've read about them in a book* as a child and when I've seen one in a zoo all was lost! 🙂

    The book was what one would call literature rather than something useful like science books. Anyway I've gone off literature partly because once I start reading I cannot stop. I won't sleep or do anything else until I finished the last page. Nevertheless I've spent a large part of my childhood in the local library where I had to constantly dodge the librarians who were trying to confine me to the children's section which was boring. The other reason I've gone off literature is because those books are full of silly characters doing stupid things I can't really relate to.
    My kitchen clock has a jumping second hand and right now it is way too loud. I;m in my living room right now.

  25. First of all: <3 Thank you for sharing (we'd love if you did more!). And secondly: Wow. Sounds so similar. I had forgotten I did that with straws too. And pens (and pencils). And my heartbeat is still too loud at bedtime sometimes.

  26. I am on the autism spectrum and it’s means a lot for someone to share cause I’m only 16 and many people over look it all the time and to know there others like me.. I’m on the Autism spectrum disorder and every one calls it high functioning but I don’t like that word either but since I know I now know why I have my issue as well. I always felt out a place cause I’m socially behind and emotionally behind many people always over look it cause I can do everything my self but then it comes to social ques and I’m just glad there others people like me and I’m not alone.. and then it comes to sensory issues I won’t touch plastic cups due to the texture and then when I see certain things they gets to me.. omg I love animals as well and then I research them as well.. omg when you said actually that made me laugh cause it similar to what I do… this video was awesome cause it’s awesome that people share there video this makes me want to share mine… omg noise bugs me way to much in a big crowd I just have to put music on so I don’t freak out this is great that you shared your story omg I feel your my twin from another planet lol but nice video

  27. I freaked out one time because I busted open a pen by chewing on it and got so much ink in my mouth. I was pretty young and I freaked out and ran to my mom because I thought it was poison and I'd die > . < I also got in so much trouble for chewing on my clothes in class. I physically could not do any work without chewing on something, whether it was my hair, or erasers, or poly pocket shoes, or whatever.

  28. its funny, my mom says i was the best baby too. i never cried whatsoever. at all. didnt cry for food, diaper, etc.

    i verbally developed fine- faster than usual, according to mom.

    i was super clumsy too, not that clumsy tho.

    i would have difficulties listening to people when focused intensely and im still like that lol.

    "actually…" oh my god thats me with like anything i like and study up on to the point i piss people off lol

    my mornings i get ready in a very specific order its just what i do, and i eat food in a specific order too.

    when i was little i developed pretty fast, but i still slept in my parents bed at 8 years old and i was still having my parents wipe me when i yknow,, pooped

    certain noises get me so bad- i cover my ears when the fire alarms go off and no one else does but i cant help but cringe and the noise literally hurts me sooo bad

  29. I totally just checked my playback speed. You talk super fast. Im the opposite i talk kinda slow. Your awesome though love the video. Your brave for putting it all there. I wish more people at our level would get this out to the world so stigmas can be broken. Unfortunately most of the world is very ignorant to the spectrum. I have never been diagnosed and I'm thirty years old just now learning about all these symptoms and its crazy because i can relate to many of them so much but I'm successful so i just never suspected something like this. As i said most people are ignorant as i was to this. My idea of somone with autism was not somebody with a credit score of 800 and being very driven and motivated like myself but Just the thought of having half a wet hand or touching card board is like nails on a chalkboard inside of me. Also cant ever seem to click with most normal people who like to talk about the weather and sports. I like to talk about science, space, time, general relativity and quantum physics. It sucks because people don't get it and i don't understand why they don't think about things that actually matter like life after death and other thought provoking topics. Maybe im right there with you i dont know but i support you!

  30. It was brought to my family’s attention that I had some kind of learning curve at a young age but no one followed up with that. I then began to fail in school and couldn’t focus and then was sick vomiting everyday due to bullying. Became homeschooled from 9-12 grade, somehow managed to get a diploma 6 years past my graduation year. Became an adult in a great relationship and then when I was dumped by the love of my life that’s when my aspergers surfaced. The stress of the breakup exacerbated everything and I basically reverted back into childhood struggles, fear or speaking, poor eye contact, social phobias etc. I was 28 when that happened and am 36 now. It’s been so hard for my entire life but I have never given up.

  31. I've never diagnosed an autistic that I'm, my mom said the same, it's similar like You're a perfect baby, never cried at late night, I was so easy to bring up, I still have the symptom like I just want to cave, facing strangers sometimes make me an awkward time and a little anxious, but I don't fear to have an eye contact, that's why I think I'm introverted only, even I have strong and intense emotions I'm so freaky among people, what an alienation. so sad….

  32. Stimming, as I was 4 and got a new trampolin I got obsessed by it and jumped up and down for hours. Even liked to sleep there or sit on it as I was watching tv. My mom told me how obsessed I seem to be of that trampolin and I remember jumping up and down I guess it calmed me down and was relaxing. I am diagnosed w autism last year so its very fresh still. And it seems like many of my weird behaviour and traits as a kid is now explained finally, and it feels a lot better to understand why I have been the way I was/ as a kid/ and as a grown up / I am still processing it and still so much I need to learn and its so fascinating that its so individually how autism is being expressed and experienced. I was like u say easy very cuddly calm baby but also used to stomach problem a lot my first year. I was delayed in my speech and social interacting, so when I was misunderstood I cried or got so upset. I was bullied or left out a lot in daycare. My mum used to tell me growing up I had like this perfect eating behaviour where I was 2 yrs old and didnt spill one drop of soup as I was eating.
    I used to smell stuffs and loved smelling my dolls head. Used to love sitting inside bathroom and playing and talking to myself , didnt hear my mom as she was shouting and looking for me. I was having some earinfections and problems w hearing aswell which I now know its common for Children with autism or some neuropsychiatric disorder.
    There are many many other traits I know I har and have and its loving movies. I always got into movies and was like obession to me/ could watch something and think bt it so much to that point it destroyed my sleep/ and I used to rent movies watch movies from the age of ten or so. Didnt think bt it THEN ofc but this is common interest / movies and talking bt the movie stars and remember the names of the movie stars/ Also I used to draw and listen to music like classical Music discovered classical Music as soothing and very touching, as my hearing problems earlier on probably made it even more amazing when I could hear it so clearly and Music has aleays been very important to me. I remember recording movies on a tape so I used to listen to movies lol/ knowing all the lines/so talking and talking and making my own radio shoes was a lot of fun to me. If that was just a childs play or not I dont know. I reckon I talked to myself much and that was soothing. Also played w my hands like puppies or making up stories in my head. Sleeping disorder has been a problem thru out my whole life really even as a baby where I dindt want to sleep. It's also probably due to my adhd. My mom said I couldnt sleep after 12 midnight. So that was ofc a problem to get me up in the mornings. It's ofc a lot more but its so interesting to hear u talk. It makes me realize that We all have some traits in common and some are very individual. Not hearing wot someone says or go Into ur own mind, head, smelling or touching stuffs is wot I did too. Also having a sensitive skin made me self conscious bt that in early stage. Was bullied in school cuz I used to have lotion or creams. Was and still am over sensitive so a not of stuffs at once or too much at once can either get me overstimulated and easily angry or upset , or just numb and like zooming out a bit. Hasnt been easy w jobs or careers as I havent stayed long enough and being bullied both in school and at work has made me scared of taking on new work. I hope to get more help w this now as I am in work program and wanna get back to work, not full time ofc. My brain cabt deal w longer days and too much stress. Guess this was a very long and informative comment. Wish I had the diagnose earlier on . Would have been better for me careerwise etc. Not knowing wot causes ur behaviour is damaging /especially for the self esteem. Btw: loved ur video and thanks for sharing 🙂 I wish to make some video myself one day when I am ready.

  33. Hey!!! Fellow autistic here! Would love to interview you on my challenge and connect on Facebook. Totally loving your channel!!

  34. Exact same experience with the horses. I wasn't even sad not to be included in the little stables clique, I was juste happy to be around horses 🙂

  35. Hi Lynn,
    I was hoping to message you privately but can't figure out how. I want to thank you for this video and the last one! I am just beginning a journey to find out if I have autism, and it is wonderful to hear from someone who also doesn't "look like she has autism." I'm a 21 year old girl, and for the past 6 months I've been working at a school for severely autistic kids. I never knew much about autism before but I found immediately that I was able to relate to my students so well–the sensory overload, the calming behaviors; I even love using some of their tools like rocking chairs and fidget toys. It started me looking into autism and eventually stumbling upon videos of women who have autism that's been camouflaged for years. I have had extreme social anxiety for as long as I can remember, and when I discovered that term that is how I labeled my issues. I never knew what to do in social situations–what to say, when to talk, how to stand, etc. The past 3 years I started to really work on developing my social skills and they are now much better, but I still feel like a faker–I act calm and at ease, but I'm an anxious mess on the inside. Primarily in groups. You don't talk about the social aspect much in your videos, so I wonder if you struggle with that too. I also have some other weird traits like I love certain textures of food (squishy food), am sensitive to certain fabrics, have been sensitive to bright lights and loud noises since I was a child. I am a huge fidgeter–that's also been my nickname for years because I can't sit still, and I perpetually chew the skin around my thumbs. I was obsessed with Harry Potter as a kid, I read the series over and over for years, so that my parents would yell at me for reading it and nothing else. Since becoming an adult I chalked my problems up to anxiety and social anxiety and I see a therapist for that but autism could also make so much sense. I wanted to talk to you because I don't know who else to go to (other than my therapist, which I will do soon), because I don't think anyone will believe me, even my boyfriend. Even so, it is such a relief, because all my life I've felt like such a failure and didn't understand why I struggle to do things that are normal for other people, but now there may be an ACTUAL reason. My struggles can be validated and I don't have to keep blaming myself for not being like everybody else. If you have any advice about how I would go to get diagnosed and what I should do in the meantime (like, should I tell anybody? Or just wait until an official diagnosis), that would be great. I guess I am also seeking some sort of validation because I'm still terrified that I won't actually be autistic, I'll just be the same me who can't fit in and is always disappointing people. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty–I'm sure that couldn't have been easy. I'm happy that you found a diagnosis that makes sense and has helped you to grow! <3 Camila

  36. Thanks for the video. Makes me think of all my childhood behaviors. I’m pretty new to a diagnosis. Question- how much are you pushing yourself to adapt vs accept? I got really good at masking and lacking my life to allow for me to cope. Now I’m starting to avoid the situations that make me uncomfortable.

  37. Omg thank you so much for your video. It’s like you are describing my son. He is super intelligent and has a super good memory to the point of memorizing books…mind you he is only seven. I can’t get over how much I see him in your description. I’ve mentioned it to his pediatrician but she kind of brushed it of. I believe I am also on the spectrum. I am socially awkward (I mean really awkward ) I obsess over little things like keeping every piece to my kids toys like puzzles, lego sets you name it I have complete everything. I also love to read and love animals. Growing up the ticking of clocks was unbelievably loud to where I could not sleep. I also had stomach issues growing up until I became vegetarian at 18. My first friend I had was in high school. I was always bullied for being an “odd ball.” Also I always felt different but could not point out what that was ir meant. I don’t know how to go about confirming my suspicion but I’ve taken online test and I’m always on the high end. Thanks for sharing. <3

  38. I didn't cry much ether my mom said the samething about me . I came to the conclusion that the baby food was bad are unhealthy.. my mom wander if i had a brain tumor . I love animals also. A book "a house without widows" ..

  39. Just focusing on her moving the lil' rodent (omg idk what to call it… ferret?) around. He/she seems content though.

  40. Thanks for telling, I must say I had most of Your symptoms too, but I don’t think my parents was thinking it could be something wrong, I can’t remember that they did anyway. But they had to adjust things to do after my needs and behavior. I heard that from the psychologist that did the investiontion and tests, interviews when I got my diagnos in fallseason, 2018. I had never heard that before. I lied when I was Young or changed the story so it sounds good. It’s common for people with ASD. I liked to be alone so it wasn’t a big issue for me not to play with friends from school, I had my big brother and my 4 years younger cousin.

  41. I really like your videos. I'm 30 and I'm starting to think I have autism. You talk really well. That's definitely something I'm not good at. God bless you!

  42. Most of the things resonated with me. My brother was autistic and now even i have been diagnosed with asd at the age of 25. Thanks for sharinģ

  43. Thanks for uploading this video! Check out our channel – you'll be inspired as you see our huge heart for the special needs population 😉 Isaiah 26:3

  44. Your video is very informative and relatable. But also I just want to see more of Toby. Can we please have more Toby videos?

  45. I have to eat m&ms by color. I have to start with the cool colors first because they're my least favorite colors. Then I end with my most favorite. Blue-green-red-orange-yellow-brown. LOL

  46. Hey Lynn,
    I was wondering if you would like to be pen pals, email pals work too lol. I really felt a connection to your story.
    – Sara Murney

  47. Hey, I just discovered you channel and already loved it ♥️I can relate so much!!! Please make more videos on autism, we need more female representation!

  48. Thank-You for your very charming and entertaining testimony Lynn. I have alot in common with you although I've never been examined or tested for such diagnosis.

    There is never a "whole story" until we finish our story, completely. In all the chapters of my life it was someone with your qualities and characteristics whom I would gravitate to.

    I'm glad I stumbled ( not always walls we stumble into 😅 ) onto your video. We may never meet but I will recognize you right away and I would know exactly what to say if you needed someone to talk to.

    There are many of us who fumble through life without knowing much at all about our limitations or restrictions. We just bounce around like a perpetual sonic ball without time, resources or focus to stay on anything ( or with anyone ) long enough to be a part of anything ( or anyone ) so that we are recognized as dependable, reliable, relatable, etc.

    I'm very glad for you that you have had the obvious support and love required for you to be so solid with who you are, and all that you are.

    It's a very good event for me to observe your public expression of who you are, and how you came to understand yourself so well. I'm pushing 50, and I'm just beginning to see myself in a healthy, accepting way.

    Thank-You Beautiful! Well done! 💙 ( The 'Blue Heart of Friendship' )

    Righteous. SF7

  49. Good-Morning Lynn. I stumbled upon this video / audio this morning in my search for something else. I tried listening to it and it seemed to help me clear my jumbled mind.

    Right away I thought of sharing the link with you for a few specific reasons. Unless I am mistaken there is an intrinsic relation to the creators of the video / music and your family bloodline.

    I hope you try it and take a flight over Norway today on wings of tranquility.


  50. This is motivating me to try and get diagnosed myself, I'm 29 now and have worked a loooot on 'self improvement' throughout the years because I just never really fit in with the others. I've been so scared of not being taken serious by doctors because I mask really well and 'don't look autistic' I'm pretty smart so I figured out early on what not to do, to avoid weirding other people out. Instead, all this effort has really taken a toll on me mentally and my selfesteem is shattered and I have a bunch of social anxiety now

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