How To Cope With Depression

Almost half of us will suffer from depression
at some point in our lives, but the condition remains badly misunderstood and therefore
often poorly treated. At the heart of our collective difficulty with depression is a
confusion about what it actually is – and in particular, how it can be distinguished
from a state all of us know very well and with which it is has a distracting number
of similarities, namely sadness. It’s because we unwittingly tend to apply to cases of depression
a number of assumptions drawn from, and better suited to, an understanding of sadness that
we end up suffering far more than we should. There are, on the surface, some notable similarities
between those who are sad and those who are depressed. Both groups cry; both withdraw
from the world; both complain of listlessness and a sense of alienation from their normal
lives. But there is one categorical difference between depression and sadness. The sad person
knows what they are sad about; the depressed person doesn’t. Sad people can, without difficulty, tell us
what is troubling them. I am sad that my grandmother has died. Or that I lost my job. Or that my
friends are being unkind to me. And – though it might sound strange – this is precisely
what the depressed person is not capable of doing. They may be tearful and at a very low
ebb, but they can’t conclusively put a finger on what has drained life of meaning for them:
they simply say it has no meaning per se. They aren’t depressed about x or y as one
might be sad about x or y. They are, first and foremost simply depressed. The inability of the depressed person to account
concretely for their mood can lay them open to unwarranted charges of faking, malingering
or exaggerating. Friends who begin in a well-meaning search for a soluble problem can end up frustrated
by the lack of progress. When pushed, the depressed person may latch on to rather odd
or minor-sounding issues to account for their state: they might complain that there is no
point going to work because the earth is due to be absorbed by the sun in 7.5 billion years.
Or they might insist that life lacks all meaning because they’ve just dropped a glass on
the floor and everything is now completely hopeless. At this stage, one can hear it said that if
depression doesn’t have any any sensible psychological causes, the problem must be
bound up with some kind of imbalance in brain chemistry, which it would be kinder and more
effective to treat with pills – an idea of great appeal to the pharmaceutical industry
first and foremost, but also to worried families and schools and employers who crave rapid
and cost-effective solutions. But there is another approach to depression
which, though slower and more arduous, may be a great deal more effective in the long-term.
This stems from insights drawn from psychotherapy, the discipline that has – arguably – been
able to understand depression better than any other. The basic premise of psychotherapy
is that the depressed person isn’t depressed – as they suggest – for no reason. There is
a reason. They are very distressed about something but that something is proving extremely difficult
to take on board, and has therefore been pushed into the outer zones of consciousness – from
where it wreaks havoc on the whole person, prompting boundless feelings of nihilism.
For depressives, realising what they are concretely upset about would be too devastating, so they
unconsciously choose to remain dead to everything, as opposed to very distraught about something.
Depression is sadness that has forgotten its true causes – forgotten because remembering
may generate overwhelming, untenable feelings of pain and loss. What might these true causes be? Perhaps that
we have married the very wrong person. Or that our sexuality isn’t what we once believed.
Or that we are furious with a parent for their lack of care in childhood. In order to preserve
a fragile peace of mind, one then ‘chooses’ – though that may sound more willed than it
is in reality – to be depressed rather than to have a realisation. We pick unceasing numbness
as protection against dreadful insight. To make things yet more difficult, the depressed
person doesn’t typically consciously feel that they are in fact lacking insight. They
are not aware of a gap in their self-understanding. Furthermore, they are nowadays often taught
to assume that they are ‘just depressed’, as one might be physically ill – a verdict
that can be of appeal as much to the pharmaceutical industry as to certain people close to the
patient with an interest in insights remaining buried. There’s another key difference to note between
sadness and depression. Sad people are grief-stricken about something out in the world but they
aren’t necessarily sad about themselves, their self-esteem is unaffected by their grief,
whereas depressed people will characteristically feel wretched about themselves and be full
of self-recrimination, guilt, shame and self-loathing paranoia that may, at tragic extremes, culminate
in suicidal thoughts. For psychotherapy, the origins of these violent
moods of self-hatred lie in anger due for, but unable to be directed towards, someone
else in the world – that has then turned against the sufferer. Wrathful feelings that should
have gone outwards, towards a partner who is relentlessly defensive and denies one sex
or a parent who humiliated one in childhood, are instead driven back onto the sufferer
and starts to attack them. The feeling: ‘X has horribly let me down’ turns into a very
unpleasant but in some ways more bearable ‘I’m an unworthy and unbearable wretch.’
One becomes self-hating as a defence against the risks of hating someone else. Also worth noting in all this is that, in
many cases, depression is associated with an apparently opposite mood, a kind euphoric
state termed mania, hence the term ‘manic-depressive’. The mania in question looks, from a distance,
a bit like happiness, just like depression can look like sadness. But in one area in
particular, the relationship between mania and happiness is identical to that between
depression and sadness. The common element is a disavowed self-knowledge. In mania, one
is euphoric, but cannot go into one’s own deep mind and discover its bitter truths.
Which explains one of the leading characteristics of manic people: their habit of being in flight
from themselves, talking too fast about nothing, over-exercising, working continuously or spending
too much – all as an escape from a submerged grief, rage and loss. It is from this kind of diagnosis that a suggested
cure emerges. What people in depression need above all is a chance to arrive at insight.
For this, they will tend to need a hugely supportive and patient listener. They may
also – used appropriately – benefit from temporary use of medication to lift their mood just
enough so that they can endure a conversation. But the assumption isn’t that brain chemistry
is where the problem either begins or ends; the despair is caused by an undigested, unknown
and unresolved trauma. Far from needing to be taken through reasons to trust that life
is beautiful, depressives must be allowed to feel and to remember specific damage – and
to be granted a fundamental sense of the legitimacy of their emotions. They need to be allowed
to be angry, and for the anger to settle on the right, awkward targets. The goal in treating depression is to move
a sufferer from feeling limitlessly despairing to mourning the loss of something in particular:
the last twenty years, a marriage, a hope one would be loved by one’s father, a career…
However agonising the insight and mourning might be, these must always be preferable
to allowing loss to contaminate the totality of one’s perspective. There are plenty of
dreadful things in every life – which is why it is wholly normal to feel sad on a regular
basis. But there are also always a sufficient number of things that remain beautiful and
hopeful, so long as one has been allowed to understand and known one’s pain and anger
– and adequately mourn one’s losses. Our Know Yourself Cards can help us understand the deepest and most elusive aspects of ourselves. Follow the link now to learn more.

100 thoughts on “How To Cope With Depression

  1. I just told my parents about how I feel as if I have depression , they think it’s a phase. My life just got 10 times blacker.

  2. I thought I was the only one that didn’t know why I was always sad. I thought I was probably just sad, but I guess it a lot worse… I have no fricking idea why I feel this way.

  3. I love the SOL videos. Though as someone who has suffered from depression this video is far from right.
    It I regret to say it in places confuses depression and anxiety . And to be blunt medication has been one saviour for me.

  4. What should I do if I know I am depressed and have been for almost 2 years but I lack of a diagnosis so I can’t have meds and my mom won’t take me to therapy because she believes she can help me.. but she cannot?? Please I just need an answer, where I live actually no one understands me and I really just seem like a ungrateful person but I just can’t live happily I just feel empty.

  5. I'm a 30 years old man and I started crying after watching this video. I realised that I hate my mother. At least as a child I hated her, she was often screaming, without understandable reasons (for a child), she was furious and often signaled strange moods too me, like when she was happy it seemed forced, etc. I don't wanna go to much into detail, but as a child I really had reasons to hate her. It seems like I never accepted that and pushed it away. Until recently I had only extremly few childhood memories that I remembered. And I felt that kind of depressed as described in the video almost all my life.

    I went kinda through a breakdown in the past year, I quit my job to do fulltime meditation in buddhist monasteries for some months. I already started to realise a few things about me while in the monasteries, I reduced the self hatred and fear by a lot. I came back and was searching for a job again, but got depressed again and had feared that I had learned nothing in this year.
    One month ago I found the SOL videos, they helped me realise even more about me than meditation. I took two therapy sessions via skype (70€ per sitting, you book online and can even get a session the next day and can chose the therapist by his biografie, so I chose a young one with knowledge in meditation) and that was also highly effective. But still something was going on in me, and just now when watching this video I realised it: I was deeply hating my mother!

    As an adult I dont need to anymore, at least not that much, I understand her difficult past now, which I couldnt as a child. So I feel more simpathy and mostly love towards her. But as a child I used to hate her, without accepting it and so I started hating myself at some point, for being such a bad child and because she was often screaming at me, I suppose. Knowing that now is such a relief, I never felt so much at peace.

  6. As if we could fix everything with just insight into unresolved anger issues. Then the world will be 'normal' for us. And we would be OK.

  7. I’m not depressed, even though I feel that way some of the time. I know that.
    So all of you in the comments all with real depression, I hope it gets better.

  8. Should person suffering from depression know that their grandfather suffered from and was treated for depression most of his life? Would that be helpful or harmful?

  9. I think I am depressed about my future.. i am in class 11 studying science and the truth is that i have interest in history and english but I was forced by my parents..a week ago my exam was over and the results are soo bad.. recently i broke up with my bf … it's not sadness btw I am so lost I have lost my soul and I lack imagination …i dont want to be with my friends nor my family … before i was so positive and now.. I am worse … I cannot concentrate into anything .I am soo confused and I am lost

  10. Telling someone "why are you depressed, look how great your life is." Is pracicly the same thing saying "what do you mean you have asthma, look at all this air."

  11. This is an awesome blog about being delivered from depression, check it out when you have a chance thanks,

  12. Seriously this is the most insightful (!) video about depression on YouTube. I used to watch so many of them in the last six years. Besides I also read a lot about this topic and tried to use advices from many different sources. But nothing lead to anything without this insight-thing. For me this actually means the courage to accept these negative feelings and to trust them more than "the objective truth" where everything is fine because we have good friends and family, at least some job and are not starving like people living somewhere else in the world. As soon as I followed this trust and searched for my blind spot, for the origin of my often suppressed anger hidden in the depression, I very quickly could find something. So I was able to focus on possible solution for this problem now rather than beating myself up even more for feeling guilty or ashamed that I am depressed without having a reason. Listen to the song by Alanis Morissette: Sorry To Myself. Thanks for this great video!

  13. What tripe. There are many causes of depression, with unresolved problems from the past being just one. Very often depression arises out of a combination of several factors. Diagnosis and treatment is nowhere NEAR as simple as this video makes it sound, and should be given only after a thorough assessment by a well trained professional.

    What's more worrisome is the fact that manic-depressive disorder is a biological condition NOT best treated through psychotherapy, unless the psychotherapy is aimed at enhancing adjustment to having it, managing it, or increasing acceptance of proper treatment. Anyone with a true bipolar disorder would be very much at risk trying to treat their illness without medicine.

    What this video is, is a shameless advert for The School of Life products and services. It's no better than pharmaceutical commercials, and it's just as unethical. Shame on you, TSOL and Alain de Botton.

  14. I theorize that depression is a direct result of the missing 'thing' that we humans are cosmically intended to be a part of that we are unable to achieve in our current lives on this earth in this dimension. It is a response to the loss we feel due to our true purpose not even being available to us and we don't even know it. It's the same mental place religion and virtually any other supposed fulfilling pursuit originates from. I have come to the idea that we are a species with amnesia and may not even be native to this planet. Maybe we are going through some adaptation process and that explains why approximately half of us claim to have never been depressed. That half has adapted fully and longing for the seemingly intangible has finally passed. I think I'm mainly depressed because I really need to get laid, for the love of god. I'm in my prime and after my exwife and I split, I have endured a bloody horrendous dry spell. I'm basically momadaddy at the moment, so needless to say, it's difficult to devote time to scarin up a little action. I like the gorilla analogy. All men have a gorilla inside us and he absolutely loves nothing more than to be in the driver's seat, driving like a monkey-bat outta hell, wreaking unholy havoc and involving us in all manner of debauchery. Unfortunately, you just can't let him drive like he wants to because he doesn't drive to your children's school for example, you have to handle that trip and after a nearly unbearable amount of time the gorilla spends in the back seat waiting and wanting to drive, sometimes even attempting to form a backseat plot to drive, the poor gorilla who just loves to have fun and party, starts to sulk and become strange and depressed, eventually even withering down into the seat a fair bit, out of sadness and neglect. Something I've learned though, after driving the damn car for far too long is, the good old gorilla is always lurking in the background, waiting for the day when he'll get his chance to drive again and unleash havoc upon the world. He's alive and well.
    Ah, the ramblings of a madman…..
    All work and no play makes me a something, something……

  15. I think my depressions and anxieties come from trauma in my childhood and teen years. Can anyone tell me what should I do when that trauma comes and haunt me? Because everytime they come in my mind I feel sad endlessly and just want to cry out of nowhere. I know that suicide is wrong. Now all I know is I’ll never get better and I can’t tell any one around me. I guess they will think I’m weird and won’t speak to me anymore. I get breakdowns every few days and worst when I experience something new and similar to my pasts. Sometimes it makes me not wanting to go outside and socialize.

  16. Been depressed for like 10 years. Tried different meditations and therapy, nothing has helped. But then i got hold of some ADD/ADHD medication, ritalina, and got the feeling my head stopped to spin a bit. Which caused a bit of a chain reaction to a lot of things. Less troubled, more energy, lust and so on. And i got the energy to start doing things and looking forward to stuff. Had pills for a week and it was the most consistant week ever in terms of a stable good mood. I will try to see if i got the diagnosis to get more of this medication. If not i will feel hopeless. What troubles me is that noone along the way, therapists, doctors, brought up the possibility of ADD/ADHD. Anyway, maybe others should consider this possibility too if nothing helps. Take care!

  17. Omg it's the FIRST TIME EVER that I watch a video in wich it's shown how I really feel, I can't hold it anymore… this is the worst thing ever and it keeps getting worse every year

  18. looking to hear from internet strangers that it gets better and i won't always feel this way. I feel so so sad. i feel desperate to not feel this way and im terrified that i always will. this is so far from what i wanted to feel like at 23. i am so lonely and have lost a lot of self esteem, what helps?

  19. Read Harry Potter. The Dementors are basically depression. It’s the feeling of emptiness and the loss of the will of live. To go on.

  20. yeah, dunno if you really got it with this one. the inescapability, the inevitability, the truest feeling of being unmoored in the world. walking through normal, even happy tasks, with the emptiness, is unlike any feeling in the world. depression is never chosen. not even passively, as you suggest. the comparisons to "legitimate" illness and injury is helpful for the public acknowledging it, for health professionals to prioritize it, and for the depressed person to take some necessary steps to get help in their community, ie fucking off for a while to get better. its a situation exploited, yes, and its a situation worsened by that exploitation and is not to be trivialized. also, rarely is there ever and "ah-ha!" moment where the depressed person realizes they had some deep-seated repressed memory of trauma. its more a perceptual disorder than anything else; seeing distortions of the world in meaning and proportion. one critical thing about mental illness and especially depression, the farthest-reaching mental illness, is that it isn't well known but millions still have to cope with it. where will we turn to? internet. content creators have an enormous responsibility, especially if they choose to blatantly address this topic.

  21. I agree with all this. However, as much sense as this makes, this video could cause some people to lose their shit. Some people are very very invested in the idea that depression is purely chemical and the only solution is to take drugs.

  22. Okay do you basicly told me how I'm feeling but I came to this video to learn how to cope with this deppresion how to live with this. The title of this video i misleading :/

  23. I don't know I was having depression until I saw this video.I just thought I am bored of living.I got good grades in college so that I can get a good JOB.Now I have a well paying(In fact more payable than my friends).But I feel empty.No interest, Neither in Job nor Money.

  24. The Work of byron katie has just been tested at Stanford with an amazing 94% success rate, dealing with depression.
    It's a form of enquiry based stress relief. Just 4 questions. Its helped me hugely in my own life.

  25. To everyone viewing this video:

    Life can suck. Sometimes it can suck a lot. And sometimes you just wanna die. But you mean something. You can’t just end it. I know you miss them. You miss them a lot. Or maybe you were never even with them. Maybe they don’t even know who you are. But I know you’re stronger. When life kicks you in the face, kick life back. Don’t just put up with it, make a difference. You’re a king. You can do it. You may not know it now, but that moment is going to come. I promise you. When you’re feeling down, get back up. When you’ve had enough, take on some more. I know you’re feeling horrible. It’s okay. It’s part of life. Sooner or later you’re going to be on the top of the world and nothing will ever live up to that one moment that you just can’t get enough of. And life is gonna knock you down. And it’s gonna do it again. And again. But then. It doesn’t. And then that is the very moment that you realize you are the master of your destiny, and nothing will bring you down. That is when you’re a king. Keep on fighting. Life is worth it.

    -To you ❤️

  26. Geez being depressed sucks u can't even get out of bed nothing is worth doing everything just sucks but Depression is just an symptom of not having a good enough purpose to love life that's why depression goes deeper then just being sad in General.

  27. Ive been depressed and mentally ill ever since i was 7, and ive been on therapy and meds ever since. They never, ever worked. Now im almost 24, have no education, no job or future perspectives, lost the respect of my family and previously close ones all because of it.

    I feel like i have absolutely no hope whatsoever. Something deep ingrained in my mind doesnt let me care about anything since anything makes me absurdely frustrated, physically ill and extemely depressed and unstable.

    I just want to be free of all this shit, even if i have to kill myself to be out of it. Every single day i keep replaying every single bad thing ive done in my head to the point where i feel absolutely paralyzed. Cant get a job because i cant deal with people, or an education because i cant study.

    I dont know what to do anymore. I dont even have anything to look forward to to keep going, i stopped liking everything i used to love.

  28. Problem #1 – Taking advice from someone with out an authors name and credentials.
    Problem #2 – Your level of intellect, accepting to understand a cartoon as opposed to a live person.

  29. I think is very important to also mention other synthoms of depression such as swing moods, irritability, trouble sleeping or sleeping too much. This desease is much more diferent than simply being sad, it can also make your body sore all over like a cold and it stops you from enjoying the things that used to make you happy. All this just to stress the importance of seeking medical help.

  30. It's astonishing that when you are replete with depression, it seems like the whole world is going on and moving forward, while you cannot even manage to open your eyes, or grab some water. But when we look at it in the most fundamental way, what we encounter is that all the people struggling with depression have the same narrations and the same symptoms. What is important to keep in mind when we are depressed, is that depression is a disorder, just like every other illnesses. We have to get rid of it because we are not meant to be depressed. We mustn't adapt ourselves with depression. There is always a way out. Either psychotherapy or taking pills or any other thing that might be useful.

  31. My mother refuses to leave her second husband because she fears that she wouldn't be able to make it on her own after 36 years of marriage. She stays with him in separate bedrooms and has been depressed for years because of this. She's been seeing a therapist for a couple of years but wont do what she says. So, all I can say is if you know your pain it's time to do something about it…with or with out help.

  32. Depression hits me at the school. Im crying of course then my teacher said “you are just seeking for attention don’t be like this don’t cry” can i kill myself rn?

  33. Depression is an emotion not a diagnosis. You are emotionally vulnerable and self-inflicting pain for an unknown reason. Very difficult to find a way out. Understand we are all making up life as we go along.

  34. Hey guys, my parents just got divorced. I don't think I'm depressed, I only think I'm sad. How should I deal with it?

  35. nah that's wrong. you can know why you are depressed. It's actually what you are talking about in therapy. it's not that simple.

  36. I don't know why I am depressed, I really don't have any reason to be depressed, but still I am sitting in my bed and cutting and having suicidal thoughts.

  37. Watching this video caused me to completely break down, as it perfectly encapsulated what I couldn't put into words, making sense of so many experiences during this last year. I felt so much guilt at times, that I was somehow flawed and had no reason to be depressed, that I was just the gloomy one of the family. I thought that the nihilism was some sort of philosophical or enlightened realization and didn't think that was just depression.
    I didn't consider the possibility of it all being a response to a genuine cause of depression, or at least being depressed. Maybe it is easier than becoming aware of all the moments and experiences that I've been part of, but not been part of, if that makes sense…

    I feel hopeful that, at least now, I can begin to remove the guilt and denial surrounding the depression and work to come out of it.

    To anybody else who this resonates with, it takes strength and courage to seek the help from other people. It might feel honourable to try and fix it on your own, but from my experience, it can't be done. Even if it could, it's just not worth it. Remove the guilt and frustration towards yourself for being depressed.

  38. I'm highly apathetic, filled w void & dead inside. I've been getting therapy for 2 decades, either moving w parents from the therapist, or a helpful therapist leaving the practice. The last 2 therapists I had triggered me. When I get triggered, I self harm. I finally swore off therapy.

    I see a psych Dr, but I always remain suspicious bc I've had great drs leave also & had not just frightening but traumatic experiences w meds via side effects, & I mean SEVERE side effects, borderline allergic. I lost trust & faith in ppl.

    All I know left what to do is up my vit D to a healthy dose & follow up w my psych. Other than that, I just sleep or cry my life away…

  39. Another very well-articulated narrative. I've studied depression and agree with everything said. I just wish there were effective alternatives to therapy and/or medication since there's so many people who experience the curse of depression that cannot access these options. Suicide rates in the USA have increased 33% from 1999 to 2017, while declining in most other countries. We have a very, very serious, complex problem and I just hope there's a way to get more help to those in need very soon.

  40. I don't know if anyone will ever see this, but I just want to encourage you to keep pushing through. Sending love and hugs to you ❤️

  41. It is such a relief to know that it is normal for people with depression to not know why they're depressed. I recently started therapy and I barely ever have anything to say and my therapist and I keep having these awkward kinda silences. Talking for me is extremely difficult and I'm getting there slowly. Hope it gets better for everyone out there.

  42. Hi guys I made a Short Film about my Depression journey and it would really mean everything if you guys took a look on it

  43. From what I am hearing it sounds like they have been going through some old data. They didn't even discuss the symptoms of depression and they didn't even mention anything about serotonin levels. And manic depression isn't even called manic depression anymore. Manic depression is bipolar depression. Didn't mean to make that a rant haha 😅

  44. I have been taking antidepressants for 40 years. There is NO relief from clinical depression, you just learn to adjust to living a life of pain.
    It’s tragic. This life has been nothing more than a bad joke to me.

    “Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern, just the slow erosion of self, as insidious as cancer. And like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience; a room in hell with only your name on the door”

  45. So I don't have depression like I always thought I did but suffer from perpetual sadness caused by the reality of existence. Fabulous!

  46. I am a 17 y/o from Germany and currently doing my A-Levels at school. My friends see me as a happy, just, loving and supporting guy whos rather good at school, not too much but in the upper levels of students generally. I go out a lot at the weekends, drink and smoke every single time while partying, 2 days constantly every weekend and then i go back to my normal days at school. Its been like that since I was 15. But in recent times this has changed.

    I've been fighting with my inner demons for several months now. It has gotten really bad, so bad that I started washin down my thoughts which were torturing me with alcohol and other drugs. It feels like my mind is expanding in a cage, it hurts and there is no end in sight to any of it. My mind started clouding up and I felt like a corpse most of the time. It was impossible for me to get a grasp of what was hurting me in a way I had never before felt in my life. I thought I was just too stupid to understand the complexity of the situation and I began to look down on myself for that. This only fueled my rising alcohol addiction and I began drinking and popping pills every single day. Tho i stopped with the pills the booze never stopped pouring (which might not only be due to me but a cause of the german glorification of alcohol and it being normal to start drinking at a really early age).

    All of this ended in several mental breakdowns or episodes which left me mentally unstable.
    I luckily opened up to my closest friends and they gave me much needed support but I still wasnt able to understand my condition which was hurting me this bad.
    This video really lit up the dark which was clouding my emotions & thoughts for the past few months.
    I feel better and will start to work myself up again with the help of my friends and a therapist.

    Thank you school of life for saving my life.

    I hope this puts an end to my suffering and I can start living a fulfilled, happy and long life.

  47. I admire most of "The School of LIfe" videos that I have seen. This is the exception. I believe the advice in this one to be potentially dangerous for people coping with severe mental illness such as the one that I live with (bipolar disease). I strongly recommend that anyone with either severe depression or hypo-mania or severe mania seek the advice a board certified psychiatrist. People who fail to do this, as my brother failed to do this, may die as a result.

  48. I just googled "how to deal with depression and self hatred" Clicked on the first page that showed up and as soon as I opened it, a banner about website cookies popped up. The last line on that banner said "accept and continue"……if it were that easy to just accept and continue…..

  49. I´m 21 years old, have the worst degree possible, no friends, no job, sit at home all day, have social anxiety, which leads to me not being able to even call for a job interview. My self esteem is on an all time low. When I was working still, I did everything possible wrong. Even after months I kept making big mistakes. There´s this guy I should call for 3 days and he´s offering me a job, but I just don´t call him. Cant tell you why exactly. All I every wanted was to find a nice job, travel the world and have fun. When I was 16, my teacher asked me "where do you see yourself in 5 years" I said something like I want to travel the world, meet new poeple and just have fun. Now i´m sitting at my parents house, without any income at all, my dad works full time and every evening Mo-Fr both my parents go clean 3 doctor´s offices in a row, just to get through the month. I almost forgot to say, I have like 2000€ on bills…….I know its my fault and I´m the only one who could make a difference, but the problem is, I am 100% sure about me being totally useless. Whenever something scares me, I just flee. September 2018 when I lost my first and only job after training, I just went to the train station and literally drove 1200 kilometers from germany to Austria per flixbus, just to visit the mountains again (I love mountains) and then search for some high enough place to just jump down, and If that doesn´t work i´d just overdose on cocain and mdma. I overthought, called my dad and he was luckily able to send me some money so I could afford a ticket to bet back. I then spend 2 months in a mental health facility. Without any changes at all. Today I had the opportunity to steal 500€ and go on another trip. Thought about Switzerland or scottland because of the nice landscape. But in the last second before leaving, my mother realized she left her bag at home and she came back to bet it when I was already making plans. Now I cant flee tonight because I only have 20€ left. I think I´m going to get some weed and then visit the railroad again. Maybe today I´m brave enough to end it all. I´m not even scared about dying. I don´t cry when thinking about ending it all. I smile because it sounds so peaceful. I think my parents could easly keep on without me, and even if not, they have 4 children left to comfort them. It´s 7pm. I´ll wait until 10pm and then Imma get my weed. When i haven´t wrote an answer to this by tomorrow, I´m gone. i fucking hope i´m gone by tomorrow

  50. When you feel depressed, but everyone just ignores it, and pretends that what you are feeling is just you making it all up

  51. So important. Yes, you just don't know WHY you are feeling that way. And please, everyone hwo knows someone suffering from depression and see that their feeling down, don't ask them why ALL THE TIME. We don't know. And that makes it even worse because we don't see anything that we could change.

  52. Depression is a lie. It is just a normal change in your life and/or environment that for some people takes longer and is harder to get up to. That is all it is. Same with anxiety.

  53. I don’t agree with the basic premise of the video. I think depressed people can know why they are depressed, but the depression prevents them from seeing a way out of it or how to cope. Sadness is focused on a single event like a death, whereas depression results from larger, systemic life issues. All people will get sad because of a death, not everyone will get sad from career issues. Our development in childhood like bullying or poverty, can affect our coping mechanism as adults.

  54. While I have been depressed for most of fifty years (and in psychotherapy through much of that time) I'd argue there are plenty of global problems worthy of being sad about. Poverty, apathy and cruelty are social norms here in the United States, and I suspect through much of the rest of the world, and most energy, effort and capital is pushing towards keeping this norm. While one can argue I feel sad because I suffer from early trauma, it can just as easily be said I feel sad for current valid reasons. Trauma hasn't slowed down in my lifetime.

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