How Gaslighting Manipulates Your Mind

Have you ever encountered a lie so blatant
that it seems improbable someone would actually use it? So improbable that you start wondering maybe
you are missing something or misremembering a story? Has anyone ever made you question your reality? Have you ever been gaslighted? This is another Field Guide to Bad Behaviour. Let’s explore how to navigate the wilderness
of human nature. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and
thought manipulation, with the aim of planting doubts in the mind of a person or a group
of people, to make them question their own memory and perception of reality. It’s been spotted in abusive relationships,
where it can destabilize the victim, make them unable to think clearly and so become
dependent on the abuser. It also lives in the social domain and the
political arena, where it’s used as a tactic to preserve inequality or gain political dominance
over large groups of people. Gaslighting may first appear as an honest
logical disagreement. But you can identify it by its telling signs
such as: repeated lying, persistent denial of facts and evidence, misdirection and contradiction. The term comes from a 1938 play called Gas
Light and its movie adaptations, in which a husband misplaces objects and blames it
on the wife in order to convince her she’s losing her mind and should be institutionalized. He also tells her the occasional dimming of
gas lights in the house is just a fragment of her imagination. In reality, the gas lights flicker because
he’s turned on the attic’s lights, secretly searching for valuables. Gaslighting as a behavior was first noted
in a clinical report in 1969, which included a handful of cases where people were sent
to a mental hospital through an elaborate plot designed to make them look mentally ill. This pure form of gaslighting, in which the
manipulator intentionally plots to make someone look insane and get rid of them, is quite
rare. More often gaslighting involves a desire to
gain influence over someone and keep them around or keep them from causing trouble. In relationships, gaslighters may repeatedly
deny any wrongdoing, even in the face of solid evidence. In the workplace, an employee who’s left
out of meetings might be told she’s just paranoid and someone who’s experienced harassment
may hear their just too sensitive. The idea is to ignore facts, erode a person’s
judgment and coerce them into believing alternative narrative. And this strategy works magic in politics. Although circumventing facts and pushing agendas
to masses of people is nothing new, the term saw a spike in interest during the 2016 presidential
election in the US and gained a new mainstream recognition. Gaslighting hasn’t been studied extensively
and we don’t fully understand what exactly drives this behaviour. But we can take a look at its components:
compulsive lying and intolerance for opposition The ability to lie and manipulate others is
a universal human trait that emerges early on in childhood. Researchers speculate that it may have given
us an advantage by replacing the need to use physical force to get what we want. But most people have limits. Gaslighters, though, lie compulsively and
only make up even bigger ones when confronted. Compulsive lying is a symptom associated with
psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder. And according to philosopher Kate Abromson
of Indiana University, gaslighters can’t tolerate any challenge to the way they see things. The anxiety about the possibility of disagreement
leads gaslighters to try to erode the other person of their sense of judgment and independent
perspective. So, how can you turn off the gas? Stopping gaslighting isn’t easy, but you
can start by taking these steps: Pay careful attention to your own experience. Instead of doubting yourself ask the opinion
of a third person. And check in with them regularly. When stuck in a problematic relationship,
seek help from a therapist. And note that not everyone gaslights intentionally. Be aware of your own behaviours as well as
those of others. Bullet points of actions Human relationships can be strange and treacherous. But if you know what red flags to look for
you can try to avoid falling into some traps. Until next time.

100 thoughts on “How Gaslighting Manipulates Your Mind

  1. You should've mentioned that Gaslighting is used by abusers and people with Personality Disorders, especially those in the Cluster B of Personality Disorders. These include: Narcissism, Borderline, Histrionic and Anti-Social Personality Disorders (which is also broken in two parts: Psychopaths and Sociopaths). These are VERY DANGEROUS people to be around! If you're in a relationship with someone who does this… LEAVE ASAP!!! This is NOT a joke! Your very life may be endangered!

  2. You bring up a great, important issue, but you need to spend more time on how to identify it in politics and how to break out of it: global warming, science, hate, intolerance, religion, etc.

  3. right from the start when Vanessa asked if anyone has made me question reality one name came to my mind: David Lynch! but he does it for entertaiment and not in the line with the actual dark topic of this video

  4. State sponsored propaganda. Too late fake man, the working class white have already woken up. Your days are numbered

  5. my family and Las Vegas hotels, police, and religious people have been doing that kind of stuff to me for 20 years

  6. False memories is a real social/cognitive phenomenon that shouldn't be overlooked when talking about "gaslighting", but it's often the case, leaving it almost implicit that that when people doubt you, they're always "gaslighting" you. Elizabeth Loftus has some quite interesting research on false memories, touchy enough that she's target of death threats, as people will say it's some sort of "scientific gaslighting". Her TED talk, "How reliable is your memory?"

  7. It's very apparent in the Conspiracy Community, which is now the Conspiracy Industry. Eg, chem-trails, you can't trust The Media, the school system, Crisis Actors and False Flags, etc.

  8. What's the term for repeatedly asking someone a question after they've answered it, because you "just don't believe it"? Whether intentional or not, it's a really effective way to influence the person being asked into agreeing with you.

  9. Gaslighting is an exceptional Debate strategy and one that should not be discredited or discouraged. I have an argument in mind but a quote from an old Magic the gathering card will suffice: The sharpness of one's steel is in the the power of his Resolve. (Meaning that the Will to be victorious will disarm and silence your opposition. Unless you're a Globalist or a Leftist, in which case 7.62 rounds work even better, even more so if you are female because it leaves a disgustingly mangled corpse behind that will certainly not be allowed for an open casket.) <Women are vain creatures and attacking their vanity will almost always plant the seed of corruption within their mind that will make them defeat themselves. This is a wonderful tool that can be employed against any human once you know who that person is. (Perhaps not the best example but remember, the key to a proper gaslight is to hijack the argument and to criminalize the opponent for even having their position)

  10. Am reminded of the crys of "Fight Toxic Masculinity" by gangs of purple haired, 400 pound lesbians who regularly put on masks, attack innocent people with clubs, while calling them "Nazis".

  11. This is helpful, but a follow up video giving examples, perhaps based on personal anecdotes might be better.

  12. Cnn g.l. the viewers
    Money g.l. happiness = lottery
    Fashion g.l. the natural beauty of the human.

  13. Here is a list of what Abusers/Narcissists usually do to their targets :

    Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke.

    When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim.

    Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not.

    They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right.

    Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical.

    They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection.

    Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target.

    They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing).

    They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!).

    Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything.

    Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help.

    When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors.

    Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them.

    They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior.

    They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer.

    They think they are models to be followed.

    They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief.

  14. I think you're making a mistake here. The term "gaslighting" seems to have a specific meaning, and what you are doing is broadening it to where it no longer has the intended connotation. It's not done unintentionally, it is a purposeful act of manipulation. That Trump has been able to do it on such a large, impersonal level to many American people is testament to his demagoguery. But, it is also an indication that so many people lack the basic ability to think for themselves and perhaps to empathize. By missing the point here, you'll probably create the next big, b.s. buzzword that has every tender person complaining it's being done to them. It'll get out of hand. The solutions for mitigating this is potentially counter-productive. The only solution is to gather the facts, use the brain you have and think for yourself, and not seek the counsel of someone who is just there to coddle you or give you advice based on your own possibly narrow interpretation of events.

  15. it's also been used in court. A lot of trials depend on destroying the credibility of witnesses

  16. Gaslight …the gaslighter….😁
    I gaslighted my boss so much , he needed more than a year to find out…😁

  17. There is a bit of gaslighting in the very promotion of the idea of gaslighting. This is worthless pseudoscience.

  18. also used to push people off their property ..harassment almost impossible to prove .. this is where the cameras come in handy…

  19. I feel like I've been gaslighted a lot of times after reading some of the posts on Facebook and YouTube.

  20. 1:48 it's not rare at all. Doctors will even induce insanity in patients just to cover their mistakes. You don't hear about it because of a combination of survivor's bias and no one listens to crazy people.
    It's quite an easy thing to do, every mind has a breaking point that can be reached either chemically with steroids and other drugs, or through intense trauma, which is as easy as not putting in an epidural properly before a surgery.

  21. Yes I have heard lies that big. In fact I was raised on them, my parents being Mormon covert religious narcissists.

  22. not looking for a professional answer of course this is YouTube a general one would help I think a large population, whose the gas lighting in an abusive relationship and autistic desensitise belligerent male assertiveness decisions loud but not physically aggressive, or an insecure female out of wedlock with a family history of mental health issues siding towards bipolar with evidence during the relationship of sociopathic behaviour? Who is the gas lighter

  23. You stated in the video that mental health professionals had used gaslighting to get people committed to institutions. And then you say that if you feel like you are being gaslighted, you should seek out a mental health professional. I assume that you do not mean the same ones who used it to commit people. Or maybe you do.

  24. This video is an example of why there should be no government forced funding of PBS, NPR, NEA, and other organizations which is a violation of the 1st Amendment, freedom of speech. In this video they take a jab at who was lying during the 2016 presidential elections. Bottom line, stop making the people pay for certain people's speech, stop funding PBS, NPR, NEA, and others.

  25. Another is the big lie, told repeatedly and by (apparently) different sources. The phrase "buyer beware" applies to information too.

  26. Another consideration is the authoritarian lie. An authoritarian can lie but the call is to believe the authoritarian because this person is a DOCTOR, or SCIENTIST, or because it is SCIENCE. As always consumers of information should apply the "buyer beware" approach.

  27. It would seem a defense against gas lighting is cross checking data for one self. If one suspects of being gas lit by another start taking pictures, recordings if you have a phone camera, etc. The statement still applies, "buyer beware".

  28. I thought gaslighting was accusing someone of doing something to you that you are actually doing to them. IE CNN accusing alt media of spreading fake news.

  29. I don’t intend to be rude – perhaps it’s just me…
    But every girl I’ve ever dated has been a “gaslighter”.
    Is it me or do women often fall into this narcissistic category?

  30. Just about any boss or supervisor I've ever had does this. No kidding! It seems like this is a standard tactic.

  31. This sounds an awful lot like the way that Religion works!

    Don't listen to your common sense or logic, listen only to the narrative coming from the Pulpit, no matter how absurd the claims are or how little evidence there is for their claims.

  32. People with, taking advantage of people without… ever was it thus. I'm surprised you didn't link 'gaslighting' with the amazing abilities of the modern american physician to diagnose a range of ailments such as ADHD, Autism, Depression, PTSD in children etc. Maybe you're just a boring old hack.
    p.s.The constant upwards inflection in the way you're speaking makes me think those insane asylums weren't all that bad.

  33. This is bang on the money where you say they can't tolerate any kind of opinion that contradicts their own, and also the compulsive lying – I think they're related. They try to create a narrative and use deceit and manipulation to do it, if you disagree it's full on shouting, raging, swearing, and the rest, all while twisting what you're talking about to some other thing – that they can blame you for. They are ALWAYS the victim, even of their own actions – and YOU are the perpetrator, even when you're on the receiving end.

    What they also do (well the ex-wife did anyway), is create situations where you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, e.g. complained she felt I didn't care about her because I never bought her flowers – so a couple weeks later I bought some – "oh, I don't like those kinds of flowers, or those colours, so it makes me feel like – you don't care about me" – then deny that ever happened.

    I could tell you soooo many stories, some of them you wouldn't believe – I feel so much better being away from it.

    Important and overlooked topic, thanks for covering it.

  34. I wonder whether Russ McKamey qualifies as a gaslighter. He claims that everything that goes on in McKamey Manor is psychological… and apparently so effective that people end up thinking that they were physically abused.

    Sounds like gaslighting to me.

  35. my family and i our being gang gaslighted by law enforcement, possibly da's office. its been on a unimagineable scale. every where we go we are surrounded by people saying things to my children and i. our house is bugged and because of that our civil rights have been completly taken away. we can't go any where or do anything with out being gang stalked. the main purpose of there stalking and harassment is to make our family seem crazy. the local law enforcement will do nothing about the situation. we have no resources. my children are suffering under their seige and gaslight them constantly. my only resource left is to go to the fbi and hope they can look into and do something about our case. da's office will not give out any info on any case pending. cohersion/gaslighting/gang harassment is real and going on in san joaquin county. tracy ca. i have no other outlets but get additional information about illegal survallance by agencies on youtube. this is a real thing and is going on in tracy ca. i could never imagine any other families with small children having to go through this question is if law enforcement/emergency services/ private sector agencies are doing this to my family… what other families are being subjected to their civil rights being taken away completley!! we are not crazy and need justice..

  36. This was so interesting and well done. I liked that you talked about this at both the "conspiracy" level and the "just trying to win an argument" level.

  37. The only thing I don't agree with here is that gaslighting is unintentional. If someone is blatantly denying the facts about something, it's because they don't want to get caught. That's intentional behavior, and when they do it regularly, even more likely.

  38. By gas lighting. To provide for supply? For whom? Not me. Now, tell me if you are feeling a bit gas lit? That's what I tried to prove to you here…go home?

  39. BLM/NBPP gaslights the cops all the damn time. The real reason they'll never believe blacks can do any wrong.

  40. Nice underhanded jab at POS,is that u gaslighting Trump by implying he was gaslighting……hmmm ill have to think about that

  41. Ok, I get it PBS is still upset at Republicans over trying to get rid of Big Bird. If you're going to use Trump in that video, then even more so you should have had the Clintons in it. This video is a perfect example of "Gaslighting."

  42. I have been mentally unstable and questioning all of my thoughts for 11 years now since the school I attended back then used this to bully me into dropping out.

  43. What's really sick and twisted is that the people who engage in this sort of behavior, THINK it's oh-so hilarious. To the people who have done this to me: I hope you get what's coming to you. I hope you suffer as much as you've made me suffer.

  44. The Liberal Media Uses Gaslighting As A Mean To An End. Theresa May Gaslighted the Entire Nation and CNN have Gaslighted the western civilization the last 3 years none stop.

  45. So, I saw this today after watching the 1940 movie, 'Gaslight'. The movie truly fascinated me after studying 'Narcissism' and was an extraodinary piece of artistic work for it's time. This video came up and I was intantly engaged in Vanessa's style and delivery. I'm a hooked subscriber now and think Vanessa's service to understanding problematic psychological concepts via simple and vivid explanations is commendable. On a personal note, I learned 2 things; that gaslighting is almost a 'natural' reaction in it's subtle application by many and that I myself, unwittingly fell into gaslighting-type behaviour to address the effects that a covert narcissist was having on me. So, the video serves not only as a very valuable purpose in understanding other's behaviours that impact on us negatively, but also as a self-relection tool in developing a balanced and healthy level of emotional intellect.

  46. Gaslighting is most damaging when it is THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES who is attempting to do this to the entire country, and indeed, to the entire world!! He is obviously a psycopath, and his followers are his enablers. If you want to know WHY gasliighting occurs and why it can be effective, give me a "click" and watch my video "WHY DO PEOPLE BELIEVE LIES?"

  47. Have been so desperate to get an hacker to view my wife cell phone All to no avail,have seen countless video I couldn’t get it done my Aunt recommended me to mr harry I contacted him on instagram @patrickshacks via email spytechenterprise @ gmail com his service is so amazing you can also reach him on whatsapp +1 518 290 0093 he his completely honest tell him from zumzy he would help you

  48. Democrats have been gaslighting the American people for years. Impeachment "inquiry" is making it blatant. Sadly, the victims aren't recognizing it.

  49. im a dude, im being gaslighted, they will ignore my asking for help and when they ask for help, i ask just a bit, and they sobbed to management. now im on the fence, there are plenty of jobs. Should i leave the job or fight back?

  50. Gaslighting is going to be the next big issue to be taken seriously in the news just like how the “Rape” wasn’t much of a “big” story of when it happened but was taken seriously after a few years.

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