Chronically ill with Muscles?! | invisible i


It is 5 degrees outside and I’m in a vest. Why? Hey everyone, it’s Katy and welcome back to
my channel. So today I thought I would film probably the most weird and most random video
that I have ever thought to film on this channel. But you guys have been commenting about this
so I thought I would finally address it in a video.
So of course, I am talking about my muscles, these bad boys! Basically whenever I film
a video or a upload a photo on Instagram just wearing this kind of vest or tank top, I get
so many comments and questions about my muscles and people saying ‘God you look so strong!’
and ‘Where did you get those muscles from?’ So I thought I would chat about that today
*laughs* this is so random! So this story begins back where every other
good story starts which is puberty! This was the time that my muscles decided to sprout
like many other body parts and I very specifically remember being around 12 or 13 and being in
the changing room in school, getting ready for P.E class and I was changing with all
the other girls and they all started commenting on my muscles and how toned I was and how
strong I looked and how buff I was! It became the topic of conversation that P.E class and
I didn’t really see it at the time. I just, sort of, laughed it off and went along with
it but I didn’t get what they were talking about. Then when my body started to develop
further and I became the body type that I’ve got now, I really started to see what they
were talking about. I was very, very toned for someone my age but not only for my age,
for the fact that I did absolutely nothing when it came to upper-body strength training.
And this is where the confusion came because I didn’t understand how someone could be so
muscly up top when I hadn’t done anything to develop these muscles or train them.
You guys know that I have been suffering so badly with chronic joint pain and Fibromyalgia
symptoms for about 11 or 12 years now so they started when I was 8. From this moment on
– so from literally the start of all these problems – my wrists have been the worst culprit.
It started in my left wrist, then developed in my right wrist and for a very, very long
time, the pain and symptoms were literally isolated to my wrists and then it started
to develop elsewhere. My wrists have been the worst affected joints in my body and still
are the worst affected joints. They are just horrendous, I can’t even explain how bad they’ve
been over the last decade or so. They just have given up now, they’re on their last legs
and they have just given up. but because of this, I could never participate in any of
the sport that naturally tones your upper-body. So I couldn’t do any weight training, I couldn’t
do any of the gym work work in High School, I couldn’t never do any of the gymnastics
stuff that we did like the vaulting and handstands and the floor work because I could never ever
put any weight down on my wrists and that is still something that I can’t do today.
I can’t do push-ups, I can’t do handstands, I can’t balance on my wrists at all and people
look at me and automatically think that I have been doing all of these things and that
I pump at the gym like 20 times a week and I am on it and that is really not the case
and you couldn’t really be further from the truth.
I don’t want this video to come across as if this is something that I am insecure about
or don’t like because honestly, it’s the complete opposite of that. I really do like my muscles
and always have done. I find being toned very attractive in other people so to be able to
see it in myself, it boosts my body confidence a lot and it’s something that I do like about
my body but that doesn’t come without confusion because I am still confused as to why on earth
I am this toned without doing anything?! Its just a normal question to ask, I guess.
Then this realisation came to me probably about a month or 2 ago when I was picking
up a glass of water in the kitchen and kitchen is where I struggle, I really, really struggle.
Now that I don’t do a lot of sport, I am out of school, the struggles when it comes to
wrists and arms are all in the kitchen. So all the Fibromyalgia struggles that I have
to do with my upper-body are so apparent in the kitchen. When I am doing any sort of prep
– I can’t do any sort of prep, I can’t cook, I can’t lift a pan, I can’t hold a kettle,
I can barely pick up a bottle of water or a pint of milk, it’s that horrendous! So when
I was just lifting up this very small glass of water, I realised how much my body was
working to lift this up and the place where it was working was literally just in my upper-arms
– what are these? Biceps? Are they biceps? I don’t know – but it was in this region.
I was thinking ‘God does everyone really struggle that much to lift up this glass of water?
And if they do struggle is it really in this region?’ So I asked my family about this and
apparently that’s not what everyone does! Literally, I have said it before, my wrists
and my lower arms have just stopped working and literally they have! They don’t put in
any strength and my upper-arms and upper-body have to compensate for that by working 20
times harder. This is why I’ve been developing so many muscles, because if you do this for
nearly a decade – or just over a decade – like I have, naturally, I think, you’re going to
get some toned arms up here because they’re the ones doing all the work.
An once I realised this, everything now in the kitchen that I have to do, regardless
of how small it is – so just picking up a glass of water or just picking up a knife,
like a bread knife maybe – all I am doing is working up here. That’s when I really started
to notice that this must be the reason why I am toned up top.
You know, a lot of people get the wrong impression and they see my body type, they see how slim
I am and then how toned I am and then they assume that I work at that! And I really do
but the work that I do is something that a lot of people take for granted which is just
being able to pick up a kettle and cook for yourself. That is where the work and the training
comes in because that it what I am learning and training myself to do. That is my gym.
Cooking is my weight training. The kitchen is my gym – that’s where all the work comes
in. So I just kind of wanted to talk about it,
set the record straight and to see if you guys have any similar experiences with this.
If you’ve found that chronic pain has affected the way your body looks in way, shape or form.
Whether that is being more toned or less toned than you were before and if you’ve had any
issues with struggling with body image because of that. Like I said, this is something that
I think of as a positive but obviously it’s taking me a long time to get to the bottom
of it and I have had to come to terms with that and accept it and obviously now I know
that people look at me and make assumptions that are wrong so that’s something that I
have to deal with and also come to terms with. But I wanted to see if you guys have any similar
experiences in this domain. So let me know in the comments below if you do and I am really
sorry that this video was so random, but I thought I would just chat about it so let
me know if you have enjoyed it by giving it a thumbs up. I hope you’ve had a really, really
good day and I will see you soon – bye guys!

13 thoughts on “Chronically ill with Muscles?! | invisible i

  1. i have fibrommyalgia too and I have to exercise almost everyday because It helps to ease pain 😛 so, I have muscles haha

  2. I just had to comment…I have the same issue with my arms exactly as you described. I have FIBRO. also their chest pain and breastbone…. I have found way to deal with it . that which is almost the worst ESPECIALLY during a flare up!! Using an oversized baseball is what I use to massage these muscle …but not without pain alot but what ever you can bear …I lay not it and I massage my boobs all around them are like knotted muscles an they are relieved by massage….

  3. My little boy is 6 & on the autistic spectrum. He, like you, is hypermobile & he has to put in a great deal more effort than most to hold a pencil because his joints are naturally more soft, pliable & unable to grip with strength… He is building up his fine motor strength by first strengthening his gross motor skills because the gross strength needs to come first before the fine motor control & strength can occur. It just made me think of what you are saying about how you hold a cup & how because you haven't got the strength in your wrists & hands (fine motor) your body is compensating using the gross motor skills in your arms to achieve the desired goal (ie to lift a pan/cup or whatever). Clever body! Just a thought I wanted to share with you. So it could be linked to hypermobility. Also, hypermobility is supposedly linked to fibro & ME (which I have) – I hope maybe my thoughts could be helpful to your ponderings. Love your vids, please keep posting 😁🌸☺

  4. I don't work out nor do I have any muscles to write home about, but when I took weight-training class in high school, I learned that it's pretty easy for me to build up muscle mass with half the effort compared to everyone else in the class. Maybe I should get back into a light exercise routine, see how long it takes before people start getting intimidated by my physique 😛

  5. I get bullied because I have dyslexia and dyscalculia and and aspergers (aspergers I’m in the middle of being tested/diagnosed) because they know I’m different and an easy target .
    Did you ever get bullied for your disabilities? 😊

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