Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Book Review – I Hate You Don’t Leave Me


what is up everybody this is Chris from
the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and
I’m coming back actual with another mental health book review so if you’re
new to my channel I do a lot of mental health book reviews I truly believe that
if you struggle with any form of mental illness you should really be educated
about it I’ve done a video called the brain mechanic which I’ll link in the
info card but the more you understand about your own brain the more you can
overcome your symptoms of mental illness because you actually understand what’s
going on under the hood well anyways this book review is called I hate you
don’t leave me by hold on forgot the author’s names there’s two authors by
Stross and Gerald Jay Christman alright so this book was written in 2012
it was originally written in the 1990s when they first kind of started
diagnosing people at BPD and wanted to revisit it because there’s
just tons and tons of new studies on this and from everything I looked at and
researched this is the best book on BPD it has the most research studies and
everything like that yes this book is 6 years old but borderline personality
disorder is something that I don’t know a lot of people don’t want to touch and
I’m really glad that these authors came together and did this so first and
foremost I just want to share about my experience with BPD and why I decided to
pick this book up I never heard of borderline personality disorder for I
don’t know until the last year or two when I started working at the drug and
alcohol treatment center and I was fascinated by this diagnosis
understanding the personality traits and as I started to get more clients with
this diagnosis I started to realize that most of them most of them had some sort
of traumatic childhood whether it was physical or sexual abuse or there were
children of addicts and alcoholics so I’m like wait a second I’m like this is
a mental illness that makes people not want anything to do with that person but
it seems like one of the most preventable so that really fascinated me
and if the other thing is I want to make very clear I have never been diagnosed
with BPD but something they talked about this book is borderline tendencies okay
a lot of us have borderline tendencies and I had a lot of these which I have
overcome and one reason I wanted to kind of read this book was to see how much or
how many of these symptoms I had and what I’ve overcome because I feel that
if I’ve been able to overcome these a lot of you can too but the more I
understand about it maybe I can relay more information to you so that’s
another reason why I read this so pretty much this book was written in a way for
everybody to understand people borderline personality disorder like I
always say that’s like I make these videos so you can have a little empathy
like the last video I did on borderline personality disorder if you go through
the comments just a lot of them are these are terrible people I was married
to one I dated one you know stay away from and stuff like that and it like
bums me out like this is a mental illness you know what I mean and it even
talks about in the book like this is a mental illness that even therapists and
psychiatrists like they’re like another personal borderline like they don’t want
to treat them and and it’s really sad especially when you realize how many of
these people developed this personality disorder based on their childhood like
it was completely preventable and it’s not their fault you know what I mean so
like this book was written very well it’s a book where anybody can pick it up
and have a better understanding and if you’re somebody who knows somebody with
borderline maybe it’s a parent maybe it’s a family member maybe it’s a friend
or maybe you’ve dated one in the past I really think you should check this book
out because it explains why they do what they do but there’s a lot of information
in there to help you to help you deal with a borderline right and I will do
more videos breaking down certain symptoms certain situations
everything from black and white thinking to suicidal threats to promiscuity to
all sorts of other things I will do more videos on that so make sure that you’re
subscribed but it helps walk you through different situations
especially the suicidal threats like that’s something that I deal with a lot
with my clients is these kind of threats and things like that but also the black
and white thinking but I will say this I’m a big mental health nerd I’m a big
neuroscience nerd towards the end of the book it gets a little bit more sciency
when it starts talking about genetics neuroscience it talks about medications
that might help with BPD and things like that like some of it towards the end
might be a little difficult for some people to grasp but like 90% of the book
is for just about anybody and I think if you are somebody who struggles with
either borderline or borderline tendencies I think this book will help
you out a lot too you might get frustrated might you get upset like
that’s what happens but it gives you a lot of truths but I also think that it’s
important because this book talks about over and over and over again how curable
this mental illness is and my channel is all about giving you guys hope like when
I deal with people who have BPD they seem hopeless they seem like nothing’s
gonna help them but this book cites many different studies especially long-term
studies like over ten years and talks about how people are cured the way they
talk about being cured is BPD has nine primary symptoms you have to meet five
of those to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder once you have less
than five so anywhere between one and four you are technically cured okay so
if you can work on one of these traits at a time you are in a place where your
life can become so so much more manageable you’ll sort have better
relationships not just like intimate relationships like boyfriend/girlfriend
husband/wife better relationships with your family with your friends and all
those types of things and I’m really glad I read this book because I know a
lot of people struggle with either borderline personality disorder or those
tendencies I’m really glad that now I have more
knowledge so I can provide you with some more content so like I said I really
hope you check this book out I will link to it down in the description below and
I hope you guys check it out if you do leave comments let me know by the way
the link in there it’s an affiliate link and what that means is that it doesn’t
cost you any more money but it helps support this channel so I can make more
beautiful videos like this so if you’re gonna get it use that link okay it helps
helps out the channel but I would also like to know your thoughts on it as well
and again I do hope that the comments section in here kind of chills out like
I hope there’s some more empathy and understanding like we need to understand
most people who are mentally ill do not want to be mentally ill you know that’s
what we need to really realize like so please have some empathy let’s have some
calm conversations down in the comments below if there are any topics that you
personally want me to cover when it comes to borderline personality disorder
leave them down in the comments as well I already have some in mind one of them
that I think is gonna be a really awesome video it’s called borderline
society they talked about it in this book but yeah that’s a video a plan but
I want to do a lot of black and white thinking and all that kind of stuff but
lastly the last thing I will say is check out more books read more books
I’ll have a link to my entire reading list on there and if you would like if
you would like the next book that I’m reading right now the book that I
started today is from my man Gary Vaynerchuk
it’s called crushing it and this is kind of like a me book not really a you book
it’s a me book I take a little break okay cool
you know starting up my own YouTube channel all this other stuff and but
anyways while I was listening to it today I just got I’m like right in the
middle of the first chapter like I really I really think I will do a book
review on it because like Gary Vaynerchuk has this amazing psychology
that I don’t think a lot of people understand and I think we can pull from
it to improve our mental health and something that I’ve talked about many
many times on this channel is to quit working at a job that you hate
and Gary Vaynerchuk has this great way and this great passion of explaining to
people how we live in this amazing time where you can literally do anything you
want anything that you find an interest in and figure out a way to make some
extra living and it doesn’t mean that you’re gonna do this full-time I don’t
plan on doing it full-time anytime soon but like it helps you
understand that you know you can work a full-time job and do this for a couple
hours on the side and have a lot more happiness and for some of you that means
that you can quit the job you hate take a different job that pays less money and
you have some other money coming in so anyways I’ll probably do a book review
on that so make sure that you stay tuned anyways anyways if you like this video
please give it a thumbs up if you are new here I’m always making videos to
help you out with your mental and emotional well-being
click that little round subscribe button and if you got some time you can click
or tap on one of those thumbnails right there you can also check out my entire
mental health book playlist that’ll be linked somewhere around here thanks for
watching I’ll see you next time

35 thoughts on “Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Book Review – I Hate You Don’t Leave Me

  1. If you struggle with BPD, it is VERY treatable. While I will do more videos with tips and suggestions, therapy is the best option. If you're interested in checking out online therapy, this is the best one out there: https://tryonlinetherapy.com/rewiredsoul

  2. I read this book years ago and loved it. I suspected that I had BPD (I'm still convinced that I did – I met around 7 of the symptoms) and this book helped me feel validated. People with BPD don't need all that negative stigma from others. It sucks if people have been hurt by someone with BPD, I get that. But it sucks to have BPD too. Don't take what one person did and blame all people who have BPD for it.

  3. something I have wondered is people would be interested in "living with someone with a mental health issue's and their struggles"…just a thought.
    Thank you again for your time/passion and commitment for this subject.

  4. The new movie by Tyler Perry Acrimony the main character played by Taraji P Henson is told she has BPD. I was curious to learn more and found your video . Keep up the great work . So informative .

  5. Great review, I’m fascinated by bpd. I was told by a psychiatrist I had bpd traits and learning more about this vary vague sounding mental illness had really helped me cope.

  6. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is the most effective way to treat BPD. It is a complex mental health diagnosis.

  7. Theres a light at the end of the borderline tunnel, for anyone whos struggling, there is a light at the end. Im finally close to reaching it and everyone else with borderline can too. Im hoping to get my diagnosis lifted within this year. Ive been doin work lol

  8. Bro.. thats the most stereotypical book on bpd.. examples are all extreme worse case scenarios, basically says theres no help and chances of getting better is slim to none, absoulutely zero compassion and basically states verbatim these are not people and distance from them…. bpd is one of the most misunderstood disorders out there.. as with everything there are spectrums, moderate to extreme.. there is also therapy to help… please dont promote this book.. look at the Amazon reviews…

  9. Thank you, The Rewired Soul. I have BPD, and I was treated for it with Dialecticsl Behavioral Therapy in 2016. Right after my therapy ended I got into a relationship with another BPD and it illuminated the world of mental health and how we really do need to learn constantly about mental health, learn about coping mechanisms, and just grow as much as we can. Just a correction, the book says that there is no cure, but there is a way to get better, and be better borderlines. BPD is describes so nicely in this book. It really does give you self confidence and motivation to do better. I really liked the graphs. We do need to understand more, and it is great that people like you are helping this out.

  10. Can you repost or send a different link for your mental health book list? I’m interested yet can’t get the link above to work.

  11. Could you recommend a few books on being a child of someone with BPD? I don’t think I have BPD but I still struggle with processing the relationship I have with my mom.

  12. It seems to me that one´s focus should be to diminish ALL of the symptoms from which one suffers, as opposed to getting the number under 5 to pass some fixed criteria.

  13. I have read this book in one night! Recently been diagnosed and as I'm not an immediate threat ie not suicidal struggling to find the help i need. Bought a copy for my family and partner to highlight the most important parts and how to deal with me when im struggling. Thank you for this review and the fact i now dont feel untreatable! Please keep posting about this.

  14. stumbled across this tonight, ironically, Im struggling. Thank you! ! I really like you alot! I subscribed! Thank you so much!

  15. Mate your massive error here (I’m speaking as a trained counsellor ) is that it’s Not treatable when the BPD has NO awareness or understanding , you can’t CURE as you put it when they refuse to ever look at them self … you clearly understand your own tendency’s which is good for you .. but telling people to have empathy around BPDs when they are abusive is unethical ..as there is no way you can know what people will face if they follow YOUR ADVICE (Which by the way Real therapist NEVER give out even if they know the client which it’s IMPOSSIBLE for you to know) check your Ethics on psycho educating people from a point of bias.. given your BPD tendency’s EVERYONE THIS VIDEO IS HIGHLY UN ETHICAL – don’t let a biased Person instruct you with videos and no understanding of your SPECIFIC BPD situation- Seek real Support In Counseling – this is not therapeutic or ethical

  16. Why don’t you empathise with how cruel BPD is for the victims and tell them to get therapy and learn to Deal with BPDs eh ? plenty of books kn that .. Victims of BPDS suffer abuse (if you have those tendency’s why not ask the people you hurt with them and develop EMPATHY FOR YOUR VICTIMS instead of asking them and us to empathise with their lack of insight into their abusive tendency’s, and unwillingness to the see pain they cause ?

  17. If your so confident then what ethical body are you registered with ? I’ll happily send them a transcript of your video and they can tell you for yourself- but I doubt your even are registered with any … and btw the comment you replied to me with ‘😂😂😂your not a trained counsellor, get out of here. ? You might want to look into the cognitive dysfunction called ‘Mind Reading’ – this obviously shows your lack of respect for honest input .. but like I say post your ethical body link and we’ll find out – think you’re the one who need to get out of here – I see clients face to face ethically

  18. Looking forward to having these comments deleted instead tho. .. at least some of your viewers will get the warning before you do

  19. Last comment guys.. he’s saying I’m upset at the author of the book which I didn’t even mention in 3 comments .. if You are gonna put your opinions out here you should expect real feedback from professionals- so to be Clear I Disagree with you, and You’re UnEthical advice and opinions … telling me I’m taking about something I didn’t say ? ‘ReFraming’ look it up .. or go do course on Ethics –

  20. I’ve been struggling with bpd since I can remember. Sometimes it is extreme all the time and most people don’t even give us a second chance bc we are crazy. Thank you for making this video as someone struggling I loved this review. I own the book and have read it multiple times. I am subscribing to you bc you’re outstanding especially looking out for us. Thank you

  21. The reason there is such lack of empathy and resentment towards BPD’s is because regardless of the understanding why these people are like this , if you’ve ever been in a relationship with one they leave you completely gutted lost and hitting on all time emotional rock bottom . You start off as some one who really is happy and has there shit together and they leave you when you finally are a total f**king mess ( thanks 100% to them ) and your life is destroyed. You should actually do a video on recovering from relationships with BPD’s and have empathy for them as well . Peace !

  22. My girlfriend has BPD and I didn't find out till after the first year and I was lost she has this book which I am going to read, I don't give up but I want to understand cause she deserves happiness and joy.

  23. You are a gem. The stigma around BPD and other mental illness is a killer. And you are appreciated for your empathy, the lack of which in this space generally, is so sad as you say.

  24. Im a girl who struggle with BPD and i just felt title of this book is so interesting. Cuz that's exactly what's going on my head. That's like if i like someone and perhaps that person seems leave me or hate me, i just treat him or she so badly before they leave me.

  25. I have BPD and the hardest part is being so misunderstood. I don’t do anything to purposely manipulate or hurt people. All I want is to be loved honestly.

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